Changes Abound
by catgurl83
Summary: This is the third installment in the Changes series. It picks up a few months after Continued Changes ends. How does Josh adjust to being a father to Serena? JoshZoey
1. Christmas

Author: Catgurl83  
  
Title: Changes Abound  
  
Disclaimer: The characters belong to John Wells Productions, NBC, Warner Brothers, etc. I am making no money off of my stories. Trust me, I am not worth suing.  
  
Feedback: I love feedback. My e-mail address is catgurl83@yahoo.com  
  
Spoilers: Nothing specific at this point.  
  
Summary: This is the third part of my Changes series. This picks up several months after Continued Changes ends. Sam died. Donna is in a coma. Josh has custody of their daughter, Serena, who is four now. This starts about a month before Christmas.  
  
Rating: G  
  
Author's note: Thanks to Classic She for betaing this for me. I really appreciate all of your help!  
  
***********  
  
Nov. 30  
  
***********  
  
Josh sighed when the intercom buzzed. His assistant, Janet, insisted on using the intercom for most of their communication. He pressed the button. "Yeah?"  
  
"Amy Lerious and Serena Seaborn are here to see you, Mr. Lyman." Janet stated in a monotone voice.  
  
Josh rolled his eyes. He had told her many times that she didn't need to announce their full names. "Please send them in."  
  
"Sir, You have an appointment with Mr. McGarry in a half-hour."  
  
"Send them in." He said again.  
  
The intercom clicked off.  
  
"Look what I did at school." Serena burst into the office excitedly.  
  
Josh smiled at her. "Let me see, Angel." He took the proffered picture.  
  
"It is the White House." Serena explained. She walked around the desk to point at the picture. "Everyone important is there. Uncle Jed, Aunt Abby, you, Uncle Toby, Aunt CJ, Zoey, Will, Charlie, Uncle Leo."  
  
Josh choked back a laugh as he studied the drawing. Toby was completely bald, CJ's hair was Crayola Red, and CJ towered above them all. Not a one even reached her waist. "This is wonderful Serena. You have to show this to everyone okay?"  
  
The little girl beamed. "Yeah." She pointed to a figure at the top of the page, which he hadn't noticed. "That is Daddy. He is an angel watching over us all."  
  
Josh swallowed the lump in his throat. "It is beautiful." He said softly.  
  
"Serena." Amy said from her seat.  
  
Serena looked at Amy pleadingly.  
  
Amy wished Serena wouldn't do that. It was very difficult to be stern with her when she got that look on her face. "Now Serena."  
  
Serena turned her attention back to Josh. "It wasn't my fault."  
  
"What wasn't your fault?"  
  
"It was his fault." Serena stated.  
  
"Whose fault?" Josh asked frowning.  
  
"Michael's."  
  
Josh was even more confused now. "Who is Michael?"  
  
"He goes to preschool with Serena." Amy answered when it became clear that Serena wasn't going to.  
  
Josh nodded before turning back to Serena. "What is Michael's fault?"  
  
"Bailey was mean."  
  
Josh blinked in confusion. "I thought you said it was Michael's fault?"  
  
Serena nodded. "It was."  
  
"Okay. What happened?"  
  
"Bailey said that her mommy says Democrats are stupid. Especially the ones in the White House." Serena looked Josh directly in the eye. "She said that her mommy said she shouldn't play with me cause you are bad influences on me. Then she said that Aunt CJ is dumb and the only reason she has her job is cause Uncle Leo couldn't find anyone smarter to take it." She paused to take a breath. "She said Uncle Toby is fat. She said Uncle Leo is an alco. alco." She looked at Amy.  
  
"Alcoholic." Amy supplied.  
  
Serena nodded. "Alcoholic. Then she said you are all liars, and that when my Daddy died, the world got better cause there is one less Democrat."  
  
Josh was furious. He turned to Amy.  
  
"That isn't everything." Amy said before Josh could say anything.  
  
"It was Michael's fault and I'm not sorry." Serena said defiantly.  
  
Uh oh. He knew that tone and that expression. "What did you do?"  
  
"I."  
  
"Serena." Amy said warningly.  
  
The child looked down. "Michael told me I should. If I didn't I was a wuss."  
  
Josh sighed. Peer pressure already. He had hoped he'd have a few more years before that happened. "What happened?" He repeated.  
  
"I threw coleslaw in her face and told her she was the stupid one."  
  
"That was during lunch?"  
  
Serena nodded.  
  
"Tell him the rest." Amy instructed.  
  
"She threw a roll at me so I dumped my milk over her head." She smiled. "You know how Uncle Jed says I'm a natural leader? Well, everyone got involved." She said it proudly.  
  
Josh choked back another laugh. "Everyone dumped food on her?"  
  
"Yes. Well, almost everyone. Two other kids were on her side. They threw food at us. I didn't get very much on me."  
  
He turned to Amy. "Someone spoke with you when you arrived to pick her up?"  
  
"Oh, yeah." Amy rolled her eyes. What an understatement. "It took them nearly five minutes to stop the food fight."  
  
Josh started to smile but caught the look on Amy's face. He couldn't let Serena see that he thought this was humorous. "Do I have to meet with the teacher?"  
  
"Yes. And Serena cannot go to school until you have."  
  
"This Bailey girl?"  
  
Amy shook her head.  
  
"Angel, why don't you go see Aunt CJ? You can show her your picture." Josh told the child.  
  
Serena nodded as she turned toward the door. She was relieved to be getting out of this so easily.  
  
"The other girl?"  
  
Amy shook her head. "The teacher told me that no matter what Bailey said, Serena's behavior was inexcusable."  
  
"Is Bailey out for a few days too?"  
  
"I don't think so."  
  
Josh pressed intercom angrily. "Get Serena's school on the phone."  
  
"You have a meeting." Janet's voice reminded him.  
  
"Leo will wait." Josh snapped. "Get me Serena's school."  
  
"Fine." She answered curtly.  
  
Moments later, Serena's principal came on the line. "Yes?" She said cautiously. She knew that Mr. Lyman would be angry and she had heard that you did not want to talk to him when he was angry.  
  
Josh struggled to hold his temper back. "I understand that there were problems at school today."  
  
"Yes there were. Serena started a food fight. She had all of the other students involved. Most of the food was thrown at three students."  
  
"Serena says that the other students were making fun of her." Josh stated as he broke a pencil in half.  
  
"That is not an excuse, Mr. Lyman. Serena should have told an adult."  
  
"And if she had?"  
  
"The other child would have been reprimanded."  
  
"That is all?" Josh was outraged.  
  
"Mr. Lyman, she only used words."  
  
Josh clenched his teeth. "Only? She told Serena that she is glad that Serena's Daddy is dead."  
  
"I'm very sorry about that, but Serena should not have taken it into her own hands. She must be punished so that she realizes that in the future she should handle things differently."  
  
"And Bailey?"  
  
"I have contacted Bailey's parents. They have promised to speak to her."  
  
"Speak to her?" Josh repeated incredulously. "Is that the only punishment she is going to receive?"  
  
"I cannot discuss another child's discipline with you." She paused a moment before continuing. "Would you like to make an appointment to come in to discuss this further?"  
  
Josh broke another pencil before answering her. "That will not be necessary. Serena will not be coming back to your school. Someone will be by to pick up her things." He slammed the receiver down, grateful that Serena was not around to see his behavior.  
  
"You are switching Serena's preschool?"  
  
Josh ran a hand through his hair. "There was no way I was going to leave her there. The only reason I've left her there this long is Sam and Donna chose it. It was one of the last major decisions they got to make for her."  
  
Amy nodded sympathetically. "They would have moved her too."  
  
"Yeah. But where am I going to move her to?"  
  
Amy thought a moment. "Donna made a list of schools. She took notes on each place which she visited. I think it is still in her desk at home. Would you like me to get it out for you?" She knew that he didn't like going into the study.  
  
Josh smiled briefly. He knew that Donna would not have just visited a school - she would have investigated it, inspected it, and interrogated the staff.  
  
"Sure. Thank you."  
  
"Guess what?" Serena bounced into the room.  
  
Josh pretended to think. "Hmm. I don't know."  
  
"You have to guess."  
  
"Did CJ paint purple dots all over her walls again? I don't know how many times I've told her not to do that." He shook his head.  
  
Serena giggled. "No, silly. She got another fish. Gail was lonely. She's is going to let me name it."  
  
"What are you going to name it?" Amy asked curiously.  
  
"I don't know yet. I'm going to have to think about it. The name has to be perfect." Serena said very seriously.  
  
Josh and Amy both nodded, hiding their smiles.  
  
Serena pranced farther into the room and flopped into a chair. Apparently, she had gotten away with the food fight. She smiled brightly. "Aunt CJ is going to decorate the goldfish bowl for Christmas. She said I can help her. I want to decorate our house too. And I want to bake Christmas cookies. Zoey said she'd help me make the cookies."  
  
"Serena." Josh interrupted. He knew that she was trying to keep him distracted.  
  
Serena did not answer. She just looked at him, he hadn't forgotten after all.  
  
"We have to discuss your problems at school today."  
  
Serena nodded mutely.  
  
"You had every right to be very angry and upset at Bailey. She should not have said any of those things to you. But you should have handled it differently."  
  
"How?"  
  
"You should have told an adult at school or waited until you got home and told Amy or I."  
  
Serena nodded. "Okay. I'll tell you next time."  
  
Josh saw her expression. "Before you do whatever it is?"  
  
"Okay." How come he always knew what she was thinking? She wondered.  
  
"I'm not going to punish you." Josh felt that Bailey's comments were enough.  
  
Serena hid her smile.  
  
"You won't be going back to that school."  
  
"Ever?"  
  
Josh nodded. "I'm putting you in a different school."  
  
"Can I choose?" She asked hopefully.  
  
"No. I'm going to choose a school from your Mommy's list." He told her.  
  
"Oh."  
  
"Josh?" Margaret stepped into the room. "The meeting was supposed to start ten minutes ago."  
  
Josh stood up. "I know Margaret. I'll explain to Leo." He turned back to Serena. "You and Amy can go get something from the mess. I'll be back soon."  
  
***********  
  
"So, how are the Christmas preparations going?" Will asked as he, Toby, CJ, and Josh left Leo's office.  
  
"Hanukkah." Toby stated.  
  
Will nodded. "Okay. How are the Christmas and/or Hanukah preparations coming?"  
  
"I assume you mean personal, as we really have no say in the ones here." CJ stated.  
  
Will nodded.  
  
Toby shrugged. "There isn't much for me to prepare. I don't have family coming and I absolutely do not decorate."  
  
Josh shuddered. "Serena is making me decorate the house. We are going to spend Sunday doing it."  
  
"All day?" Toby asked in horror.  
  
"Yeah. I guess she, Donna, and Sam got boxes and boxes of decorations last year."  
  
"You guess? You spent Christmas day with them last year. Didn't you see the decorations?" CJ asked.  
  
Josh shrugged. "I didn't notice anything but the tree."  
  
"What about you?" Will asked CJ.  
  
"Nothing much. I am putting a tree up this year."  
  
"So am I." Will said. "I'm spending Christmas with Elsie."  
  
Josh grimaced. "Alana's coming for Christmas. She is spending a week with us."  
  
"How does Serena feel about that?" CJ asked curiously.  
  
Josh hesitated. "I'm not sure. She has been very quiet on that subject." It was very unlike Serena to be quiet about anything.  
  
"What about your mother?"  
  
"She'll be here too. Donna's parents are going to be in DC to see her the day after Christmas. They are going to stop by to see Serena. Patty is spending the day before New Years Eve with Serena." He thought a moment. "Why don't you spend Christmas at the house with us? My Mom is making a traditional Christmas dinner for Serena's sake."  
  
"Okay." CJ agreed. There was nothing like spending Christmas with a child.  
  
Toby shrugged. "Alright."  
  
Josh looked at Will. "Elsie, is more than welcome."  
  
"I'll talk to her, it sounds like fun."  
  
"Fun?" Josh repeated. "Spending time with Alana is not fun."  
  
"Is she really that bad?" Will hadn't spent much time around Alana and was willing to give her the benefit of the doubt.  
  
"Yes." Toby, Josh, and CJ answered simultaneously.  
  
Will wasn't convinced. "I can see why she'd fight for custody of Serena. She really thinks she is the best person to raise her."  
  
Josh glared at Will. "She fought Sam for custody. She fought me for custody. Yet, she left early when Serena had her bone marrow transplant. Serena almost died and Alana couldn't be bothered to be there."  
  
"I just don't think we should condemn her without knowing her side of the story. We are a somewhat difficult group of people to be around."  
  
Josh, Toby, and CJ all glared at him. Will took a few steps backward. "Anyway, I'll let you know about Christmas."  
  
"Is he really on Alana's side?"  
  
Toby shook his head. "He was just trying to play devil's advocate."  
  
"He'll see on Christmas." CJ stated. "What about Leo? Is he spending Christmas with Mal or the Bartletts?"  
  
Josh shook his head. "He is spending Christmas with us. He was going to spend it by himself in the hotel but Serena found out. She is making him come over." Josh smiled. None of them could say no to that child.  
  
"What about Mallory?" Toby asked.  
  
"She is spending the holidays with her boyfriend."  
  
"She has a boyfriend?" CJ asked in surprise. She had not heard.  
  
"I guess she has been dating him for several months. They work together." Josh explained with a shrug. "And of course, the Bartletts are going to New Hampshire."  
  
"They leave two days before Christmas." CJ confirmed. "They'll be back three days after Christmas."  
  
"And Charlie is spending the holidays with his sister and some distant relatives." Josh said.  
  
They all headed back to their offices.  
  
********  
  
Dec. 4  
  
********  
  
"Not like that." Serena said in an exasperated tone.  
  
Amy smiled as Josh groaned. Serena wanted everything to be perfect. She would not settle for less.  
  
Serena tilted her head. "A little higher and to the right." She instructed.  
  
Josh moved the wreath and stepped back. "Well?"  
  
Serena sighed dramatically. "It will do."  
  
Josh closed the door.  
  
Serena turned in a circle, studying the entryway and living room. A strand of garland was woven through the staircase.  
  
Bright red, silk poinsettias adorned the top of the chandelier  
  
A lacy red and white tablecloth with tiny Christmas trees embroidered on it was draped over the table against the wall. A hand crocheted, white Christmas tree sat on top of it. Donna's mother had made the tree for her the year before.  
  
The wreath hanging on the front door had small porcelain dolls in red and green dresses sitting amongst the beautiful greenery and bright-red berries.  
  
Mistletoe hung in the doorway to the living room, at Serena's insistence.  
  
Holly was draped across the fireplace. A tall porcelain Santa Clause stood next to the fireplace looking out on the room.  
  
White and silver candles sat on top of the baby-grand piano. They would illuminate the room at night. Soon, a Menorah would join them.  
  
The tree stood in the center of the room. Its piney scent filled their nostrils. A porcelain angel with golden wings adorned the top of the tree. Smaller angels were interspersed along with silver balls and tinsel around the tree. Serena had spent hours placing each angel in the perfect place.  
  
Amy had stenciled snowflakes on all of the windows with peel off paint. The iridescent snowflakes would glow in the dark.  
  
The doorbell rang and Serena spun around. "I'll get it."  
  
"Wait, Serena."  
  
Serena turned to look at Josh. "I'm sure it is the pizza delivery person." Josh said.  
  
"I want to pay him."  
  
Josh handed Serena the money and followed her as far the living room doorway. She enjoyed "grown up" tasks like paying the young kids that delivered their food. He allowed it, but watched to make sure she was safe.  
  
Serena carried the pizza box into the family room and sat it on the coffee table. Amy had already brought paper plates in from the kitchen.  
  
Amy walked back into the room carrying glasses and a half-gallon of milk.  
  
Serena noticed Josh's cringe when he saw the milk. "Can we have soda instead?" She asked hopefully.  
  
Josh really wished he could give in. He hated drinking milk, but he felt that he had to drink it if he was forcing Serena to drink it. "How about this? We'll both drink half a glass of milk, then we can have some soda."  
  
Serena pondered his suggestion for a few moments. "Root beer?"  
  
"Yep."  
  
"Okay." She agreed cheerfully as she took a glass of milk from Amy. Amy retrieved the soda from the kitchen while Serena quickly drank her milk.  
  
Amy took a bit of her pizza as she surveyed the family room. They weren't done decorating in here yet but they had made progress.  
  
Hand made stockings hung along the fireplace. A hand-blown glass plate sat on the end table closest to the fireplace. On Christmas Eve, the plate would hold Santa's cookies.  
  
A large collection of Christmas CD's had been placed in the CD rack near the stereo. The look of horror on Josh's face when he saw the stack of CD's was priceless.  
  
A beautiful, hand-carved, wooden Nativity graced the corner of the room. The Nativity had been in Sam's family for several generations.  
  
"Hurry." Serena ordered them impatiently. "We have to finish decorating."  
  
Amy took another bit of pizza. "What's next?"  
  
"We have to finish in here." Serena grinned. "Then Uncle Josh can hang the lights outside."  
  
Josh groaned. "Do I have to?" He whined.  
  
"Yes." Serena answered immediately.  
  
Josh thought wildly. "But we don't want to overdo it. We want to be understated and elegant."  
  
Serena pondered that for a few moments and Josh sighed with relief. She wasn't going to make him hang outdoor lights after all.  
  
Serena finally looked him directly in the eyes. "Nice try, but you aren't getting out of it that easily."  
  
Josh stared at her through temporarily startled eyes. She had sounded so much like her mother just then that he almost wanted to turn around to see if Donna was standing behind him.  
  
He hadn't thought that he could miss Donna anymore than he already did, but he'd been wrong. This holiday season was going to be difficult for all of them.  
  
As hard as the last couple of weeks had been, he did have to admit that it was getting better. For the first several weeks after the accident, the only thing which kept him going was Serena. Taking care of that little girl had been the only thing which got him out of bed in the morning and home from work in the evening.  
  
During the last few months, things changed. Living became easier every day. They established their routines, he felt more confident in his role as surrogate father. Everyone helped him as much as they could. It wasn't quite so difficult to move on.  
  
He realized that things were going to continue to get better.  
  
***********  
  
Dec. 8  
  
**********  
  
Serena and Josh stepped out of the elevator and down the familiar halls. As always, Serena clung to Josh's hand, her other hand clutched a Christmas tree shaped plastic container.  
  
Serena took her hand out of Josh's and stepped up to a desk. She smiled brightly. "Hi, Emily."  
  
The young woman sitting at the desk looked up from whatever she had been reading. A smile brightened her face when she saw them. "Hi, Serena, Josh."  
  
"Zoey came over earlier today and we made Christmas cookies." She held out the container. "I brought you some. The Santa's are sugar cookies. The gingerbread men are gingerbread. The reindeer are peanut butter."  
  
The young nurse accepted the cookies from Serena. "Thank you sweetie. I'm sure they're delicious."  
  
Serena frowned a bit. "Maybe not the peanut butter. Uncle Josh helped make those." She smiled at Josh teasingly. "Zoey says that he is inept in the kitchen."  
  
Josh frowned. "I am not inept."  
  
Serena rolled her eyes. "Zoey and I super. super." She thought hard and both adults held back their smiles. "Supervised." Serena said with a triumphant grin. "We supervised him so the cookies shouldn't be too bad." She assured the nurse.  
  
"Thank you." Emily said again. She really adored this little girl. Serena was always so sweet and well behaved. She always stopped to talk to Emily or which ever nurse was on duty when she came here.  
  
"How is she?" Josh asked as he always did.  
  
Emily smiled sympathetically at him. He always asked, even though the answer was always the same. "No change."  
  
Josh closed his eyes briefly as he said a prayer. That was always his reaction to the nurse's answer.  
  
Serena slipped her hand back into Josh's. "She'll wake up soon." She assured him. "She just needs time to get better first because she was hurt so badly." She repeated what Abbey had told her.  
  
Josh smiled at the little girl. It was impossible to lose hope with Serena around. The child was optimistic, even though most children that had been through as much as she had wouldn't be. She was a very special little girl.  
  
Josh slowly opened the door to Donna's private room and Serena preceded him inside. Serena stepped up to her mother's bed. Josh lifted her up and she kissed Donna's cheek. "Hi Mommy."  
  
Josh sat Serena back down and leaned over to brush a quick kiss onto Donna's forehead.  
  
"It'll be Christmas in three days." Serena stated. "The house is so pretty. Uncle Josh and Amy helped me decorate." She spoke enthusiastically describing everything to her mother.  
  
Josh smiled as he listened to Serena chatter. He studied both females in the room. The difference between them was amazing.  
  
Serena was life. She bubbled over with energy, happiness, and enthusiasm. She could fill almost any room with happiness just by stepping into it.  
  
Serena's long brown hair reached past her knees. Today that hair was pulled back in a French braid. Serena's bright blue eyes shone with happiness and health. Serena was very pale but her cheeks shone with warmth and cheer.  
  
Today Serena wore a red velvet dress and black Mary Janes. She had been dressing festively for the past several days.  
  
Donna lay still on her bed. She was always so still that Josh often felt for her pulse just to assure himself that she really was alive.  
  
Her beautiful blond hair had been cut to almost nothing. It made it easier for the nurses to care for her. Her alabaster skin had faded: it was nearly transparent, it blended in with the white sheets of the bed.  
  
She was wearing a flannel night gown and pink, fuzzy socks.  
  
One of them epitomized life and the other epitomized. Josh swallowed, the other epitomized death. She was alive, yet she really wasn't.  
  
Life oozed from Serena, while death hung like a cloak over Donna.  
  
"Everyone is spending Christmas with us." Serena was saying cheerfully. "Well, almost everyone. Not Uncle Jed and Aunt Abbey. They are spending Christmas at their farm and so is Zoey. But Uncle Leo, Aunt CJ, Uncle Toby, Grandma Clara, Grandma Alana, Will, and Elsie are coming over. Amy is going to her mom's."  
  
Serena was silent suddenly. After a few minutes, she spoke again. "I wish you could be there too." She said softly. "I know that you'll wake up when you can but I want you to wake up now. I want you to spend Christmas with us. We all do. I miss you."  
  
Josh didn't know what to do. Should he continue to allow Serena to talk or should he interrupt her? Should he reassure her? This was not how Serena usually acted.  
  
"I love you, Mommy." She turned to Josh with wide soulful eyes. "Can we go now?"  
  
Josh looked between the woman and the girl. "Okay." He stepped over to the bed and kissed Donna again. "I'll be back soon." He whispered. He wished he could stay but he knew that he needed to get Serena away from here.  
  
*********  
  
"Serena?" Josh started once they were in the car on their way back to the house.  
  
"Yes, Uncle Josh?"  
  
"You really miss your mommy don't you?" Josh asked unnecessarily.  
  
After a few moments, Serena answered in a soft voice. "Yes."  
  
Josh pulled the car over to the side of the road and turned to look at the little girl in the back seat. "Do you like going to the nursing home to see her?" He had always just assumed that Serena wanted to go see Donna. He had never actually asked the child.  
  
Serena hesitated. "Kind of." She finally answered.  
  
"Kind of?" Josh repeated slowly.  
  
Serena felt a tear slip down her cheek. "I like spending time with Mommy but it hurts." She explained, her voice so low that he could barely hear her. "I want her to wake up so much but she won't. I thought she would have by now." She paused for a few minutes. Josh waited patiently. "The nurse always tells you that there was no change."  
  
Josh watched the little girl. How could he not have noticed what this was doing to her? How could he not have seen how upset she really was? She had done a very good job of hiding it but he should have seen it. Sam would have seen it.  
  
"She isn't going to wake up, is she?" Serena whispered. Her face was covered in tears. She could taste the salty substance on her lips.  
  
Josh swallowed the large lump in his throat as a few tears spilled out of his own eyes. How did you answer a question like that? Was there an answer? "I hope so." He finally whispered.  
  
Neither spoke for several minutes.  
  
"What if she does?" Serena finally asked.  
  
"I." Josh didn't know what to say because he didn't really know what she was asking.  
  
"What happens to me?" She asked after a few minutes.  
  
"What would you want to happen?" Josh asked carefully.  
  
Serena was silent for a few more minutes as she thought. "I don't know." She finally whispered. "I love Mommy, but I love you too. Would Mommy be able to take care of me?"  
  
Good question, Josh thought. "Mommy would have to have physical therapy at first." Josh finally said. "She would have to practice doing a lot of different things."  
  
"Like taking care of me?"  
  
"Yes."  
  
"After that would I live with her?"  
  
Josh hesitated. "I'm not sure, Angel. We would have to discuss it then."  
  
"Oh."  
  
"But no matter what happens, one of us will always take care of you. We both love you more than anything."  
  
Serena gave him a weak smile. "I know."  
  
Josh turned back around and restarted the car. He was going to have to be a lot more careful with Serena in the future. She pretended to be stronger than she was in order to protect and help him. But she was just a little girl.  
  
He wouldn't bring her back to see Donna again until she asked him.  
  
************  
  
Dec. 16  
  
***********  
  
Rudolph the red-nosed reindeer, had a very shiny nose.  
  
Josh cringed at the song blaring out of the car's radio. He hated Christmas songs. He could tolerate the classics pretty well but songs like this? They really irritated him.  
  
Serena did not feel the same way. She sang along with the radio, not missing a word or a note. As she sang, she stared out her window raptly. She did not want to miss a thing. Christmas only came once a year after all.  
  
She loved the holiday season. Multicolored strands of light bedecked most houses and many trees and bushes. Snowmen stood tall and regale in front yards. Creatively decorated Christmas trees had temporary homes in most houses.  
  
The uplifting strands of Christmas music played most places.  
  
The unique blend of Christmas scents fragranced the air. Serena could almost smell them, just thinking about them. Pine, burning firewood, gingerbread, hot cider, pie, those were just a few of the combined smells which make up the scent of Christmas.  
  
In a word, Christmas was happy. And Serena needed happiness.  
  
Josh sighed in relief as he slid into an open parking spot. He climbed out of the car and walked around to let Serena out.  
  
"Could I have had to park any farther?" Josh muttered as he stared out as the sea of cars around them.  
  
Serena cheerfully took Josh hand for the long walk ahead of them.  
  
Josh had to smile as Serena skipped next to him as she chattered excitedly about their plans for the holidays. She was trying to plan everything down to the minute.  
  
As they approached the building, Josh scowled. A group of carolers in Victorian clothing sang "Deck the Halls" while a man in a Santa suit rang a bell as people dropped money into his little metal plate.  
  
Serena practically dragged Josh over towards the group. She wanted to join the small crowd of people admiring the music.  
  
Josh resignedly waited for the song to end. He glanced down at his watch several times. Who knew that this song could be so long? Finally, the song ended and he dropped some money in Santa's plate and walked off with Serena.  
  
They walked through the airport and found the gate they were looking for. They found seats as they waited for their guest to join them.  
  
Josh smiled at Serena who just couldn't sit still. She was wiggling and squirming in her seat restlessly. An older couple sitting across from them smiled at both of them. "Waiting is so difficult at her age." The woman said sympathetically.  
  
Josh nodded his agreement.  
  
The woman turned back to Serena. "I love your dress. It is so festive."  
  
Serena gave her a brilliant smile. "Thank you."  
  
The woman turned to Josh with a smile, "Your daughter is adorable."  
  
Josh sat in his seat, astonished, as the old woman continued to speak with Serena.  
  
His daughter. He had never thought of her like that before. After several minutes, Josh jumped up. He looked down at Serena. "She's here."  
  
People started to file in from the flight.  
  
After a few minutes, Clara Lyman appeared in the crowd. She scanned the waiting area for her son, finally spotted Josh and Serena.  
  
She joined them and pulled her son into a hug. Then she turned to Serena. She knelt down next to the child and pulled her into her arms.  
  
Serena took Clara's hand as they headed to get Clara's luggage. "Guess what, Grandma Clara?"  
  
Clara smiled down at the exuberant child. She hadn't met the little girl until a week after Sam's death but she had immediately fallen in love with her. "What?"  
  
Serena sighed in exasperation. "Doesn't anyone realize that you have to actually guess?" She inquired of the ceiling.  
  
Josh rolled his eyes and held back a laugh. Serena loved being overly dramatic.  
  
Clara barely choked back her own laugh. "Okay." She agreed. "Let's see." She rested her free hand on her chin and pretended to think hard. "Did Uncle Josh finally agree to let you start a zoo in your bedroom?" She inquired in a suitably curious tone.  
  
Serena giggled a bit. "He says that would mess up the carpet. Zoey says he's just scared of the animals." She giggled again. "She says it would be really funny to watch him box with a kangaroo."  
  
Josh mock frowned at Serena. "I am not scared of animals."  
  
Serena looked up at him innocently. "Really?"  
  
"Really." He said firmly.  
  
Clara bit the inside of her cheek. She didn't want to let on that she knew Serena was leading Josh into a trap.  
  
"I don't believe you." Serena announced after studying Josh's face for a few moments.  
  
"Why?" Josh demanded.  
  
Serena shrugged. "I don't know. I just think that you are scared of animals."  
  
"I am not." Josh insisted.  
  
Serena just looked at him.  
  
"I'm not."  
  
She still didn't say anything.  
  
"Really." He looked at his mom. "Tell her."  
  
Clara just shrugged. She didn't want to get involved.  
  
"You could always prove it." Serena suggested with a shrug. Her tone was nonchalant.  
  
"Fine." Josh agreed without thinking. "How?"  
  
Serena barely held her grin back. "We can make a stop on our way home."  
  
"Where?" Josh asked. He still wasn't thinking.  
  
"At a pet store."  
  
"How will that prove anything?"  
  
Serena smiled up at him. "Because I'm getting a kitten."  
  
"A what?!!!" Josh shrieked. Several people turned to stare at him but he ignored them.  
  
They reached the baggage area and Clara started watching for her bags as Serena looked at Josh in mock sympathy. "A kitten is a baby cat, Uncle Josh." She said condescendingly.  
  
"I know that. You are not getting a kitten or a cat."  
  
"Okay." Serena readily agreed. "So, you are scared."  
  
"I'm not."  
  
"Okay." She agreed patronizingly.  
  
Josh sighed. He could not believe this. He had allowed a four-year-old to trick him. There really wasn't any way out now. "We'll stop on the way home." He said after a few minutes.  
  
Serena grinned triumphantly. She had known she would win.  
  
***********  
  
Dec. 18  
  
***********  
  
"Come on." Serena urged.  
  
"What is the hurry?" Alana chuckled as her enthusiastic granddaughter practically dragged her into the house. Josh shut the door behind Alana, slowly followed the two.  
  
"I want to show you something." Serena explained to her grandmother without slowing her pace a bit.  
  
Clara stepped out of the kitchen and quietly stepped next to her son. She studied Alana. She had seen the woman on television, but never in person. Alana really did not look like a grandmother, Clara mused. She was probably in her late forties, trying to look like she was in her early twenties. Her blond hair was cut in a short sleek style around her face and any gray that might have appeared had been quickly dealt with. She wore a light blue skirt set with matching pumps.  
  
Serena led the adults up the staircase. At the door to her playroom she abruptly stopped. She turned to her grandmother. "You have to be really quiet." She whispered the admonishment.  
  
Alana nodded, intrigued. What could Serena want to show her that could require silence? She glanced back at Josh and the woman standing with him, his mother, Alana assumed. Neither one's face gave anything away.  
  
Alana nodded at Clara in acknowledgment but completely ignored Josh. She noticed the slight resemblance between the mother and son. Their hair was the same shade of brown but Clara's was longer and was pulled back from her face with light colored clips. Josh's eyes were the same shape as his mother's but weren't quiet as light. Clara wore a pair of black slacks and a light blue turtleneck sweater.  
  
Serena opened the door and motioned all the adults into the room.  
  
Alana scanned the room but did not immediately notice whatever it was that Serena wanted her to see. She looked down at her granddaughter curiously.  
  
With a sigh at her grandmother's lack of observation skills, she took Alana's hand and led her across the room. She knelt down next to the basket, which was lying near her dollhouse. The bundle of blankets inside were partially concealing the small animal sleeping soundly within their folds.  
  
Curious, Alana knelt down next to Serena to get a better look. "What is that?"  
  
Serena gently lifted one of the blankets so that her grandmother could see her new pet. The animal stirred and rolled over, stretching its legs out in front of it. "Uncle Josh said that she is a Hanukkah present."  
  
"Oh." Alana stepped back away from the basket as her hand flew to her face. She wasn't fast enough to cover the onslaught of forceful sneezes that engulfed her body. She pushed her way past Josh as her eyes started to water and swell.  
  
Josh moved over toward the basket and the perplexed little girl standing next to it. He knelt down beside Serena and grinned at her. "I think Grandma Alana is going to have to stay in a hotel." He tried to hide his glee but saw from his mother's expression that he did not quite succeed.  
  
"Why?" Serena asked in a bewildered tone. "She doesn't like my puppy?"  
  
"She is allergic to the puppy." Clara corrected gently.  
  
"She makes Grandma Alana sick?"  
  
"Yep." Josh answered cheerfully and received a reproachful look from his mother. He turned to the basket and the ten-week-old puppy watching the three humans, her head tilted curiously. Josh reached out to scratch her ears. "You know, I think I like you after all." He hadn't really wanted to get a puppy but it was better than the kitten Serena had originally tricked him into agreeing to. At least it wouldn't use him as a scratching post while he slept, or sleep on his head.  
  
The tiny animal gave a tiny yelp to alert them that she wanted out of the basket since she was too small to jump out herself.  
  
Josh lifted the puppy out, wondering for about the hundredth time what it was that had attracted Serena to this dog. The dog kennel they had gone to had several different breeds. Josh's choice had been either a golden retriever or a lab. His mother had wanted Serena to get a miniature collie. But Serena had insisted not only on this breed but also on this particular dog.  
  
Josh felt that the dog was just about the ugliest thing he had ever seen. He had said that when Zoey and Abbey had dropped by to see the animal the morning after they got her. They would have taken the dog to the White House but the secret service would not have allowed that. Zoey had laughed at Josh's proclamation and had said that the dog was so ugly that she was cute. Her mother and Clara had readily agreed. Serena had stared at them before arguing that ugly and cute were opposites.  
  
The puppy was almost completely hairless but had a puff of fur on her tail, fur on her paws, and what looked like a lion's mane around her head and face.  
  
Josh hadn't even known that Hairless Chinese Crested dogs were a breed until he saw the three puppies in a playpen.  
  
Serena had immediately fallen in love with the unusual animals. Josh and the kennel's owner had both told Serena how much work one of those puppies would be. It would have to have special care because of its lack of protective fur. They had to make sure it didn't get a sunburn or a skin infection. They'd have to rub baby-oil into the dog's skin everyday. Serena's response had been that she didn't care how much work the puppy would be because she loved it and when you loved something, you would do anything for it. Josh hadn't been able to say no after that comment.  
  
"I'm going to go check on Mrs. Farrel."  
  
Josh stared after his mother in bewilderment. Why would she do that?  
  
"Is Grandma Alana still going to spend Christmas with us?" Serena inquired curiously while softly petting the as yet nameless puppy.  
  
"I'm not sure."  
  
Serena frowned. "If she does, will my puppy have to be locked up in my room?"  
  
Josh sighed. "Probably."  
  
"But it isn't the puppy's fault. What if she thinks we are blaming and punishing her? It isn't fun to be blamed for something that isn't your fault."  
  
Josh looked into Serena's earnest face. He knew that Donna and Sam would have found a way to make this conversation into a lesson but he wasn't sure if he could. He doubted that he'd ever have the parenting skills that they had had. "No, it isn't." He agreed. "How about we give her a special treat to eat while she is in here on Christmas?"  
  
Serena pondered the suggestion for a few minutes. "Okay." She finally agreed. "And we have to check on her lots and lots."  
  
Josh nodded as he stood up. "Deal. I'm going to go find Grandma Clara and Grandma Alana, okay?"  
  
"Okay." Serena turned her attention on her puppy.  
  
As Josh left the room, he heard her asking the puppy her advice on names. If she liked a name she was supposed to yap twice and if she didn't like it only once. It was very difficult but he suppressed his laugh.  
  
He found his mother and Alana in the family room sipping coffee. Alana's eyes were red and puffy but they seemed to have stopped watering.  
  
Alana looked up to see Josh standing in the doorway. She scowled at him. "I cannot believe that you would stoop this low."  
  
Josh blinked in confusion. "What?"  
  
"The puppy."  
  
Josh looked behind him to make sure that Serena had not followed him. He stepped into the room and slid the door shut before turning back to Alana. "What about the puppy?" He asked with deceptive calm. His mother stiffened - she had heard that tone of voice before.  
  
"You got her a puppy to keep me from spending the holidays here." Alana accused.  
  
"And how was I to know that you were even allergic to dogs?" Josh demanded.  
  
Alana shrugged. "You have money. You probably hired someone to find out my weaknesses."  
  
"Like mental health." Josh muttered under his breath. "I got Serena the puppy because she wanted a pet."  
  
"Oh, so you give her everything she wants?" Alana asked with a raised eyebrow.  
  
Josh clenched his teeth. This woman managed to twist everything he said. "No." He did not need to explain himself to this woman.  
  
"Whatever." Alana stated with another shrug. "It really doesn't matter anyway. You'll just have to take care of it."  
  
Take care of it. The sentence hung in the air for several silent seconds.  
  
"What are you suggesting?" Clara asked carefully, as she laid a hand on Josh's arm in a calming gesture.  
  
"It doesn't really matter as long as the puppy is gone."  
  
"Are you suggesting that I get rid of Serena's puppy?" Josh asked between gritted teeth.  
  
"I am not suggesting it. I am insisting." Alana corrected.  
  
"No." Josh's tone was filled with ice.  
  
Alana stood up. "You have no choice. The court gave me permission to spend all major holidays here with my only granddaughter."  
  
"And I didn't say you couldn't." Josh reminded her.  
  
"I cannot be around an animal with fur."  
  
Josh shrugged. "That is your choice."  
  
Alana glared at him furiously. "I am allergic to the animal."  
  
"There are allergy medications." Clara suggested in an attempt to diffuse the situation.  
  
"I should not have to take medication in order to spend time with my granddaughter." She told Clara icily before turning back to Josh. "Either deal with this or I will." She paused briefly. "Now, get Serena for me please. I am going to take her for hot chocolate."  
  
When Josh did not move Clara briefly considered getting the child herself but decided that it would not be wise to leave these two alone without a witness or a referee. "Josh. Get Serena." She ordered softly.  
  
Josh sent one last glare at Alana before exiting the room. He had no choice but to allow Serena to go with Alana. But there was no way in Hell that he'd allow her to upset Serena in any way, and that included doing anything with Serena's new puppy. The little girl already adored the small animal.  
  
Josh's mood dissipated when he stepped into the little girl's playroom. Serena sat next to a bucket of doll clothes with the puppy on her lap. The animal lay calmly as Serena slipped tiny yellow socks onto her paws. The socks matched the dress that the puppy was already wearing. He burst out laughing.  
  
"It isn't funny. You are going to hurt her fellings." Serena scolded without looking up from her task.  
  
"Feelings." Josh corrected as he suppressed his laugh.  
  
"Feelings." Serena dutifully mimicked.  
  
"Good. Grandma Alana wants to take you for hot cocoa."  
  
"Do I have to go? I'm busy."  
  
Josh sighed. "Yes, Angel. You have to go spend some time with her." He paused. "I think she missed you." He added grudgingly. He knew that Serena's incredibly soft heart wouldn't be able to resist that.  
  
"Oh." Serena started to gently pull the socks off of the puppy. "It isn't fun to miss someone." She stated wistfully. "I'll go with her. But only for a little while, cause I have things I need to do. Important things."  
  
Josh raised an eyebrow as he hid his smile. "Like what?"  
  
Serena carefully folded the puppy's dress and put it into the bucket. "I have to think of names for my puppy and Aunt CJ's fish. I don't want Aunt CJ to think I forgot cause I'm irreponsible."  
  
"Irresponsible? And she knows that you are trying to find the perfect name."  
  
"Good." She stood up and headed for the door. "Be good for Uncle Josh." She called back to the puppy.  
  
**********  
  
Dec. 22  
  
**********  
  
Josh looked up at the sound of the doorbell. "Can you get that?" He called out, hoping that his mother would hear him. There was no way he could go to the door right now.  
  
"Uncle Josh, hurry." Serena whined impatiently.  
  
"Kay." He responded. He turned back to his task of lathering the shampoo into Serena's hair. Amy was spending the holiday week with her parents.  
  
He rinsed the shampoo out, careful to make sure that none of it ran down into her eyes. "All done." He announced. "Are you ready to get out?" He reached behind him for a towel.  
  
"No!" Serena protested loudly. "I want to play longer."  
  
Josh glanced down at his watch. "Ten more minutes." He agreed.  
  
"Cool." Serena exclaimed as she grabbed a box of soap crayons and started drawing intricate designs on her arms.  
  
"Joshua."  
  
Her use of his given name caused him to look at his mother in surprise. She was standing in the doorway.  
  
"You have a guest downstairs in the living room."  
  
"Who is it?" His attention was back on Serena as she drew a multicolored rainbow on the shower wall. He heard her hesitation and turned back to her. "Mom?"  
  
"It is Zoey Bartlett." She finally answered.  
  
Serena looked up in surprise, happiness shinning on her face. "I want to see Zoey."  
  
"I thought you wanted to play awhile longer?"  
  
She looked at him like he was dense. "I want to see Zoey." She repeated slowly.  
  
Clara stepped into the room and grabbed a towel. "Why don't you go see Zoey while I get Serena into her pajamas?" She directed at Josh. She was already helping Serena out of the tub.  
  
"Thanks."  
  
Josh smiled as he nodded at Gina who was standing by his living room door, before stepping inside. "Hey." He softly greeted Zoey who was studying the Christmas tree.  
  
Zoey turned around and smiled brightly at Josh. "Hi." She walked closer.  
  
Josh gestured to the sofa and Zoey sat down. "I'm surprised to see you tonight." Josh said as he sat down next to her.  
  
Zoey laughed. "Your mom was too. It took her several seconds to even invite me in. She kept staring behind me like she expected to see my dad or something. Anyway, we are leaving tomorrow."  
  
"To go to New Hampshire?"  
  
"Yep, Dad planned the trip so that we have plenty of time to cut down our own tree." She rolled her eyes. "We used to do that every year when we were little. I guess he thinks that will take us back to our childhood's."  
  
"The secret service is going to let him have a sharp object?" Josh asked in shock.  
  
Zoey shook her head. "No. You should have heard him go on and on about traditions when Ron said that an agent would cut the tree for us."  
  
Josh shuddered. "I'm glad I didn't."  
  
Zoey laughed. "I kind of feel sorry for whichever agent has to do it. Dad is going to give the guy that same lecture."  
  
"And probably one on the first Christmas celebrated with a tree here in America." Josh guessed with a grin. He found the President's quirks funny when he wasn't on the receiving end.  
  
"Zoey!" Serena called out as she ran into the room. Her long braid flew behind her.  
  
Zoey stood up and knelt down to hug the little girl. "Hey Munchkin."  
  
"Did you decide to spend Christmas with us? Instead of going to New Hamshire?" Serena asked as Zoey sat back down with her on her lap.  
  
"Nope. I just came by to bring you your Christmas present." Zoey answered cheerfully. Serena had been trying to convince her to ditch her parents for almost a month. It was a joke between them.  
  
"Cool!" Serena peered all around her. "Where is it?"  
  
"Serena." Josh prompted.  
  
"Can I have it please?" Serena rephrased. A sweet smile graced her face.  
  
Zoey pretended to think about it. She turned to Josh. "I don't know. Maybe I should make her wait. It is tradition to wait until at least Christmas Eve after all."  
  
"True." Josh agreed. "It is only a couple of days. That shouldn't be too hard for her."  
  
"Hey." Serena protested. She thought quickly before giving Zoey a manipulative smile. "Okay." She agreed sweetly. "But then you won't be able to see me open it. I heard Aunt CJ tell Uncle Toby that it was going to be fun watching my face on Christmas when I open my gifts."  
  
Zoey and Josh both burst into surprised laughter. "You win." Zoey said after a minute. She picked up the bag beside her and took a box out.  
  
Serena accepted the wrapped box and started to carefully unwrap it. She got the paper off in one piece without any rips. After laying the paper aside, she opened the box. "It is really pretty." She exclaimed.  
  
Zoey, who was still staring at the folded wrapping paper in mild shock, blinked to clear her mind. Genetics aside, this was definitely Donna's child, she thought. "Do you want to try it on?"  
  
Serena nodded eagerly.  
  
Zoey took the necklace out of the jewelry box and fastened it around the little girl's neck. "Do you want to know why I chose it?"  
  
"Yep."  
  
"Well, you saw the pretty gold angel right?"  
  
"Yep."  
  
"I got the angel necklace for two reasons. Number one is that Uncle Josh is always calling you Angel. Number two is because the angel is supposed to be a guardian angel."  
  
"A guardian angel?" Serena questioned curiously.  
  
"A guardian angel goes everywhere with you and takes care of you when something bad happens." Zoey explained.  
  
"I wish I had one before." Serena said solemnly.  
  
"You did." She pushed a lock of hair out of Serena's eyes. "You just couldn't see it. This necklace will help you remember, next time you need an angel." She reached under her turtleneck and pulled something out. "See, I have one too. Uncle Leo and Aunt Jenny gave it to me when I was seven. It really helps when I am upset."  
  
"I'll wear it all of the time." Serena promised.  
  
"Not in the bathtub or when you are sleeping." Zoey told her.  
  
"Okay." Serena agreed as she tried to cover a yawn.  
  
"Time for bed." Josh told her.  
  
Serena was about to protest but instead she smiled. "Okay. Can Zoey read me my story?"  
  
"Ask her." Josh instructed.  
  
"Sure." Zoey stood up and followed Serena and Josh out of the room. Gina silently stepped behind the small procession.  
  
Serena grabbed a book from her bookshelf and flopped down onto her bed. Josh tucked Serena in under her covers and sat down across the room. Zoey climbed up next to Serena. Serena gave her the book. "Black Beauty?" Zoey asked in surprise.  
  
Serena shrugged. "The little kid books were getting boring. I can read them myself now." She informed Zoey proudly.  
  
Zoey looked over at Josh who just shrugged.  
  
"How much do you read a night?"  
  
"Several chapters."  
  
"Serena." Josh said from across the room.  
  
"Several pages." Serena said with a sigh.  
  
Zoey opened the book to the bookmark and started to read animatedly.  
  
Josh smile contentedly as he listened and watched Zoey and Serena. Serena was tucked snuggly under her blankets with her head lying on Zoey's shoulder. Zoey was half lying down on the bed next to Serena, her attention solely on the child and the book. Zoey read with emotion, giving each character a distinct voice. They looked so good like that. Sweet.  
  
Zoey looked down after reading for almost a half-hour and was surprised to see Serena's eyes were closed. She gently brushed a lock of hair out of the little girl's face before looking across the room. She smiled at Josh who was watching her and Serena with a puzzling expression on his face. She couldn't pinpoint what it was but she definitely hadn't seen that look on his face before.  
  
Josh stood up when he suddenly realized that Zoey was gazing at him curiously him. He approached the bed and helped Zoey move Serena over so that Zoey could stand up.  
  
"Thank you." Zoey whispered to Josh as he leaned over her to shift Serena.  
  
"Serena loves that necklace. I can tell already." Josh said softly once they were out in the hallway again.  
  
"I hope so. I wanted to give her something meaningful."  
  
"You did." Josh assured her.  
  
Zoey looked down at her watch. "I'd better go." She said regretfully. "I'm staying at the residence tonight so that we can leave really early tomorrow morning. My parents are probably watching for me."  
  
"Do they know you are here?"  
  
"No, I just told them I was stopping by to see a friend on my way over."  
  
"Have a good Christmas." Josh said as they walked down the stairs together.  
  
Zoey laughed softly. "I think you mean Merry Christmas."  
  
Her laugh was so sweet and melodious, Josh mused. He had never noticed that before. Josh shrugged. "I'm Jewish." He excused as he wondered why he liked her laugh so much.  
  
"I'll see you in a few days." Zoey smiled at him one more time before disappearing out the door with Gina.  
  
Josh stared at the door for a few minutes before turning and going into the kitchen. He grabbed a soda from the fridge and sat down at the table to sip it. He really wished he could drink something stronger but he hadn't had any alcohol since he was awarded custody of Serena.  
  
"Josh?"  
  
"Hey Mom." He greeted as she stepped into the room and got herself a bottle of water from the fridge.  
  
Clara sat down across from her son. "So what was Zoey here for?"  
  
"She brought Serena a Christmas present."  
  
"That was nice of her."  
  
"Yeah."  
  
Clara hesitated for a moment before speaking again. "You know I don't like to meddle." She began.  
  
Uh oh, Josh thought. Whenever she said that, it meant that she was about to meddle. He imagined that most mothers were like that.  
  
Clara began carefully, "I was surprised by your reaction when you heard Zoey was here, and Serena's too, it was completely unexpected for me."  
  
"Why?"  
  
"Because Josh, she is your boss's daughter and she is little more than a child herself."  
  
"She is almost twenty-two, Mom." Josh protested immediately.  
  
Clara raised an eyebrow. "Most employees aren't close enough to their boss's daughter for her to stop by unexpected."  
  
"I don't exactly work in a normal environment, Mom. We are all more like a family than colleagues."  
  
Clara sighed. "I know that Josh, but still. You don't need or want rumors going around about you and Zoey."  
  
"What about us?"  
  
"Josh."  
  
"Mom, there isn't anything going on. She is one of my best friends, that's all. And she loves Serena." First Charlie and now his Mom? Who was next, Leo?  
  
Clara stood up. "Okay. Goodnight, Honey." As she walked out of the room, she hoped that her instincts were wrong this time. Or at least that Josh would think before he acted.  
  
**********  
  
Dec. 25  
  
**********  
  
"Wake up."  
  
Josh slowly opened his eyes to see Serena sitting cross-legged next to him on his bed tugging at his hair. "What?" He muttered incoherently before closing his eyes.  
  
"Get up." She grabbed his arm and pulled on it.  
  
Josh opened his eyes again and peered at the clock on his nightstand. "It is 6:00 AM on one of the few days that I can sleep in."  
  
"But it is Christmas." She said in case he had forgotten.  
  
As Josh came more fully awake, he could smell the aromas coming from the kitchen. He climbed out of bed and trudged toward his bathroom. "What is Grandma making?"  
  
"French toast, eggs, and fresh fruit."  
  
"I'll be down soon."  
  
"And then presents?" She asked hopefully.  
  
"Breakfast, then everyone will come over and you can open your presents." Josh corrected.  
  
Serena sighed. "Okay. I just hope they hurry."  
  
They had barely finished breakfast when the doorbell rang. Serena ran to get it, letting CJ and Toby into the house.  
  
"Buy out a toy store Toby?" Josh asked when he saw the pile of presents in Toby's arms.  
  
"CJ did." Toby grumbled around a box.  
  
As CJ was neatly stacking the presents near the tree, the doorbell rang again. This time Serena led her grandmother into the room. Alana had decided to stay in a hotel because of the dog. At his mother's urging, Josh was even paying the bill.  
  
Alana looked around the living room. She completely ignored Josh. "Hello CJ."  
  
"Hello." CJ replied coolly. Josh had told her about the puppy incident. How heartless did you have to be to even suggest taking a pet away from a child?  
  
"Toby."  
  
"Alana." Toby responded.  
  
Within the next few minutes Leo, Will, and Elsie arrived.  
  
"Presents." Serena announced to the room at large.  
  
Most of the adults laughed at the little girl's enthusiasm.  
  
Serena opened each package with care and folded the wrapping neatly beside her. She put the cards in a separate stack.  
  
Josh snapped picture after picture as CJ videotaped the whole thing.  
  
After more than an hour, Will peered around the living room. Clothes were piled on top of an unoccupied chair. A stack of books graced the coffee table. Toys and stuffed animals littered the floor. "It looks like a children's store in here."  
  
"Maybe we went a little overboard." Josh admitted. He looked over at CJ. They both shrugged at the same time. "Naw."  
  
CJ looked down at Serena, who was dressing her new Barbie doll in a hideously mismatched outfit. "Have you been thinking of names?"  
  
"Names?" Alana asked in confusion.  
  
"I get to name Aunt CJ's new fish and my puppy too." Serena informed her grandmother.  
  
Alana turned to glare at Josh. "Her puppy?" She had been hoping that Josh would get rid of the animal at some point during the previous week.  
  
"You met her remember?" Serena asked her grandmother in concern.  
  
"I remember." Alana assured Serena before turning back to Josh. "I cannot be around a dog."  
  
"You aren't having an allergic reaction right now." Will pointed out helpfully. "You should be fine unless you go near the dog."  
  
Alana turned her glare on him and he sat back in his chair. "I didn't want to have to do this." Alana told Josh in a put-upon tone. "But I'm going to have to allow the judge to decide."  
  
"Decide what?" Serena asked worriedly. "I want to live with Uncle Josh." She climbed onto his lap.  
  
"The judge can decide other things about your care too." Alana told her.  
  
"Like what?" Serena asked curiously.  
  
"Like whether or not you can have a pet." Alana answered.  
  
"I already have a puppy. I even chose her name." She informed the room proudly but no one heard her. They were all watching Alana wearily.  
  
"The judge ordered you to allow me to spend holidays here. I can't do that if I have to constantly worry about my health do to some animal. Therefore, you having that dog is a direct violation of a court order." Alana explained haughtily. "I've already spoken to my lawyer."  
  
"What about my puppy?" Serena asked in a soft, scared voice. She was staring at her grandmother.  
  
Elsie jumped up. "Serena, you know what? I haven't gotten to meet your puppy yet. I'd really like to but I don't know where she is. Can you take me to her?"  
  
Serena looked at Josh.  
  
"Go with Elsie, Angel." Josh instructed gently. His tone a direct contrast to his eyes.  
  
"Kay." Serena mumbled uncertainly as she took Elsie's hand and led her out of the room.  
  
Josh turned on Alana. "How dare you scare her like that?"  
  
"Scare her? She gets frightened that easily? I doubt that that is normal."  
  
Leo stood up and went to stand next to Josh who had just stood. He laid a hand on the younger man's shoulder.  
  
"Serena has already lost more than enough." Josh said dangerously.  
  
"It is a dog." Alana argued. "It doesn't matter. Besides, she just got it. She can't be that attached."  
  
Toby lay a hand on CJ's arm before she could get up.  
  
"Get out." Josh growled.  
  
"What?" Alana demanded indignantly.  
  
"Get out of my house."  
  
No one even noticed that it was the first time he had called it his house.  
  
"I have a court order to spend Christmas here with Serena." Alana objected.  
  
"Get out." Josh repeated.  
  
"Fine." She stepped out of the living room with the others all right behind her. "I'll take her with me." Before she could go up the stairs, CJ was standing on the bottom step, her expression daring Alana to cross her.  
  
"I have the right to spend this day with Serena." Alana insisted.  
  
"You lost that right when you frightened her." Leo countered.  
  
"You ruined her Christmas." CJ added. "It is going to take us hours to calm her."  
  
Josh wrenched the door open forcefully. "Out!"  
  
Alana backed towards the door as Toby took a step toward her. "You'll be hearing from my lawyer." She exclaimed as she slammed the door shut. Josh slid the deadbolt into place.  
  
"Merry fucking Christmas." Josh cursed as he ran a hand through his hair.  
  
"Um. You probably shouldn't have said that."  
  
Everyone turned to stare at Will.  
  
Will held up the camcorder which he picked up when CJ laid it on her seat.  
  
"Did you.?" Clara began hopefully.  
  
"I taped it all." Will announced.  
  
"Thank you, Will." CJ startled him by kissing him on the cheek.  
  
"Uncle Josh?" Serena said hesitantly, as Elsie gently guided her down the stairs, clutching her puppy tightly.  
  
"Angel, it is okay." Josh assured her as he knelt down next to her. Serena awkwardly held her puppy as she groped for her new necklace.  
  
"Where is Grandma Alana?"  
  
"She left."  
  
"Good."  
  
"Why good?" Josh asked.  
  
CJ motioned for Will to train the camera on Serena, but to step back so she wouldn't notice.  
  
Serena hesitated. They could all see that she was upset. "She was scaring me." She whispered as she clutched her guardian angel.  
  
"How?"  
  
"I think she wanted to hurt my puppy. I think she is mad cause Tuft makes her sick. But Tuft doesn't do it on purpose. You and Amy always say that you can't blame someone for something they do accidentally."  
  
"You're right." Josh agreed.  
  
"Is she going to get a judge to decide?"  
  
"Maybe."  
  
"Could a judge take Tuft away?" Serena asked fearfully.  
  
"Maybe, but I don't think the Judge would do that." Josh reassured her.  
  
"But what if they made me go live with her?"  
  
Josh kissed her forehead. "Do you want to live with her?"  
  
"No." She said vehemently.  
  
Josh hugged Serena tightly, whispering to her "I won't let that happen."  
  
*************  
  
Author's note: For those of you that would like to see what a Hairless Chinese Crested looks like here is a link to some pictures. http:\\www.crest-care.com\Hairless%20examples.htm Also, the Hairless Chinese Crested is usually a really good pet for an allergy sufferer although in rare cases such as the one in this story you can be allergic to them. 


	2. Court

Disclaimer: They are mine. And if you believe that, I have some ocean front property for sell in Arizona. Honestly, I have no idea who they belong to now.  
  
Author: Catgurl83  
  
Title: Changes Abound (2\?)  
  
Feedback: Is adored.  
  
Spoilers: Everything through season four is fair game.  
  
Rating: G  
  
Author's note: I am aware that small children cannot testify in court. For the purposes of the story, I am ignoring those particular laws.  
  
For anybody who recently found this story it is the sequel to Continued Changes which is the sequel to Unexpected Changes. Both stories can be found on Fanfiction.net by clicking on my profile.  
  
Huge thanks to Classic She for beta reading this for me!  
  
************  
  
Jan. 15  
  
*************  
  
Serena shifted on the seat of the limo so that she could see out the window. She squirmed restlessly as the vehicle turned down a side road. She could see the building from here.  
  
As the car pulled to a stop, Serena swallowed hard.  
  
Josh ran his hand through his hair. "Are you ready?" He gently asked Serena.  
  
"Yes." Serena answered softly.  
  
The door swung open. The occupants of the car could hear the excited murmur that went through the assembled crowd.  
  
With a reassuring smile for Serena, Dillion stepped out of the car. As they had already discussed, Clara followed him. Next, CJ stepped out. Josh took a deep breath before stepping out of the car and holding out his hand for Serena to join him. Serena took a deep breath and then climbed out of the car.  
  
As Serena appeared, cameras all over the lawn went off. Reporters pressed forward as they began shouting their questions.  
  
Serena stepped closer to Josh. Clara stepped up on Serena's other side and the little girl reached for her hand. Dillion and CJ stepped in front of the three to shield them as they started pushing their way through the throng of reporters.  
  
"Serena! Are you going to be testifying today?"  
  
"Do you miss your grandmother Serena?"  
  
"Do you want to live with Josh?"  
  
"How do you feel about being here today?"  
  
Serena ignored the questions just like her Uncle Josh and Aunt CJ had told her to. She kept her eyes focused on the steps in front of her.  
  
They entered the courthouse and the door swung shut, effectively blocking out the reporters congregated outside.  
  
Dillion led them all to a small waiting room near the courtroom. The room contained a small sofa, two chairs, a small coffee table, and a TV. A small toy box occupied one corner of the room.  
  
Serena gave Josh a hesitant look and then glanced at the toys.  
  
Josh gave her an encouraging nod. "You can go play. It will be awhile before this starts."  
  
Serena slowly made her way over to the toys. As she played, she glanced over at Josh every little while as if to assure herself that he was still there.  
  
"I hate this." Josh whispered harshly.  
  
Clara laid a hand on her son's arm.  
  
"You know we have to do this." Dillion told him.  
  
Running his hand through his hair Josh let out a frustrated sigh. "I know but I still hate it." He looked over at Serena. "I hate that I have to do this to her. Look at her. She is so scared."  
  
"This is what is best for her." CJ assured him.  
  
"I know that but it is scaring her. She barely slept last night. And this morning she refused to eat breakfast." He sighed again. "She kept asking me to promise that she wouldn't have to go live with Alana." He confided.  
  
"Did you?" CJ wondered.  
  
"Of course I did." Josh answered adamantly. "There is no way in hell that Alana is going to take my little girl away from me."  
  
Dillion sighed wearily. "You didn't tell her that did you?"  
  
"Of course not." Josh snapped. "I did promise her that she could stay with me though." He finished softly.  
  
They were silent for several minutes until Josh abruptly stood up. He grabbed the remote control to the TV off of the table and jammed the on button. The TV flipped on to a news channel and Josh flipped the volume onto low.  
  
A reporter in front of the courthouse was talking about Serena's battle with leukemia and about the car accident.  
  
The image changed to show a limo pull to a stop. Several reporters could be seen pushing toward it. The door was opened by a man Josh knew as a Secret Service Agent.  
  
Questions were shouted as Zoey stepped out followed by Leo and Toby. The three showed no sign that they even heard the questions as they hurried up the steps and into the building.  
  
A few minutes later, the door opened and Leo, Zoey, and Toby stepped into the room. Serena looked up from the castle she was building out of blocks. A grin lit her face as she jumped up. She smiled at Toby and gave Leo a hug before turning to Zoey. She gave Zoey a hug. "I'm building a castle." She announced.  
  
Zoey looked across the room at the lopsided building. "It's a very nice castle." She complimented the child.  
  
"I know." Serena answered seriously. "I just finished it. Do you want to be the princess?" She asked hopefully.  
  
Zoey grinned Zoey loved playing make believe with Serena. "Sure." She allowed Serena to take her hand and lead her to the castle.  
  
"You sit there." Serena ordered pointing to a spot behind the jumble of blocks.  
  
Zoey dutifully sat.  
  
Serena faced the rest of the room. Everyone was watching with amusement. "Aunt CJ you can come sit with Zoey. You are her Lady in waiting."  
  
Josh let out a snicker.  
  
CJ hit Josh on the top of the head as she stood up. "Can't I be the Queen?" She asked Serena as she joined the make believe party  
  
Serena pretended to think about it before shaking her head. "There isn't a queen in this story."  
  
CJ sighed as she took a seat next to Zoey awaiting further instructions.  
  
Serena once again pursued the rest of the room. With a hand on her hip, she carefully studied each of the remaining people. "Uncle Leo you are a bodyguard."  
  
"Can't we just let the Secret Service outside be the bodyguards?" Leo asked hopefully.  
  
"No. We need a bodyguard inside to help slay the dragon." Serena answered as if she was talking to a very small child.  
  
Leo, Josh, and Toby all blanched when they heard "slay the dragon".  
  
"Uncle Toby?"  
  
"Yes?" Toby asked wearily. Serena's eyes gleamed mischievously.  
  
"You get to play the dragon." She announced as if it was the greatest honor.  
  
Toby cast a sideways look at Josh. "I think Uncle Josh would make a far better dragon than I would."  
  
Serena shook her head in immediate denial and Josh smiled triumphantly. His smile quickly faded. "Uncle Josh is the prince that has to kill the dragon."  
  
"Can't Leo do it?" Josh whined. "He is the bodyguard."  
  
"How exactly are they going to kill the dragon?" Toby asked, a bit fearfully.  
  
CJ stopped laughing long enough to give him a sweet smile. "Didn't you ever read fairytales as a child? They put a sword through its heart."  
  
Toby gave Josh a horrified look. "You let her read things like that?"  
  
A pale Josh shook his head. "No."  
  
"The last time I visited Grandma Alana she read a story about dragons to me." Serena informed them. She didn't notice Josh clench his fists in anger.  
  
Serena turned back to Toby. "The dragon goes over there." She pointed to the far side of the room. "That's your cave." She looked at Josh. "Uncle Josh you have to go over to the castle."  
  
"What about Grandma Clara?" Leo asked. If he had to play this game, so did everyone else.  
  
Serena smiled. "She can help me be the narrat. narrat." She looked at Clara.  
  
"Narrator." Clara supplied.  
  
"Narrator." Serena finished as she walked over to the toy box. She handed a toy crown to Zoey. She then handed Josh and Leo each "swords" made out of Lego's taken from the toy box. "Remember to roar." She admonished Toby and CJ snickered at his expression. He'd rather be having a root canal than playing this game, she thought.  
  
Fifteen minutes later they had all gotten into their roles. Some of them were even having fun. Toby left his "cave" and approached the "castle". He let out a half-hearted roar.  
  
"Not like that." Serena reprimanded. She dropped down onto her hands and knees. "Like this." She roared loudly as she held a hand out like a claw. She looked more like a lion than a dragon and Zoey, Josh, Leo, CJ, and Clara all fought hard to keep their laughs back. Toby and Dillion stared at the girl in mild amusement.  
  
"Now you do it." Serena ordered Toby as she stood up.  
  
Toby groaned as he dutifully and carefully got down onto the floor. He gave Serena a look and she nodded encouragingly.  
  
"Roar."  
  
"Louder. You have to be scary."  
  
Toby sighed. "Roar!" This time he swiped a hand out into the air in front of him.  
  
Serena burst into giggles. All of the adults broke into laughter.  
  
"That looks like fun."  
  
They all looked up in surprise when they heard the voice in the doorway.  
  
The social worker was standing there with a smile on her face. She stepped into the room and softly shut the door behind her. "What are you playing?" She asked Serena with a smile.  
  
Serena gave her a shy smile as she always did and moved a little closer to Josh. "Castle."  
  
The social worker knelt down next to Serena. "I used to love to play castle when I was a little girl. I was always the princess. Are you the princess?"  
  
Serena shook her head. "No. Zoey is the princess. I'm narrating." She gave the social worker, who had told her to call her Kristen, a genuine smile. "The narrator gets to tell everyone else what to do."  
  
"Ah." Kristen chuckled. "Is castle your favorite game?"  
  
"I haven't played it before."  
  
"What do you usually play?"  
  
Serena shrugged. "Different games."  
  
"Does Uncle Josh usually play with you?"  
  
"Yep." Serena answered cheerfully. She was comfortable now. "Everyone plays with me, although some of them grumble." She gave Toby an accusing look. "Even Uncle Jed plays with me some times." She grinned. "One time we played school and Uncle Jed was the teacher."  
  
Leo, CJ, Toby, Josh, and Zoey all groaned.  
  
"He made all of his Senior Staff, Zoey, Charlie, and even some of the Secret Service Agents be the students." Serena's voice was gleeful as she remembered how everyone had tried in vain to get out of the game. Leo had made up a meeting, which Margaret had quickly informed the President was bogus. Josh had faked being sick until the President had threatened to call Abbey down to examine him. And CJ had hidden when she'd heard about the game.  
  
"Do you need to use the restroom or get a drink Serena?" Kristen asked.  
  
Serena nodded. "I need to use the restroom."  
  
Zoey stood up, grinning as she handed her crown to Josh. "I'll take her."  
  
After Zoey and Serena had gone, Kristen turned to Josh. "She seemed to be enjoying herself."  
  
Josh nodded. "She loves role play."  
  
Kristen smiled. "Most children her age do. Most parents however, don't. Serena is a very fortunate little girl to have such a large extended family that is so close to her."  
  
"Yes, she is." CJ agreed softly. She gave Toby a small smile. This was working in their favor.  
  
Zoey and Serena returned and Kristen turned back to the little girl. "It is time for you to go meet the Judge. Are you ready?"  
  
Serena looked at Josh.  
  
Josh smiled and gave Serena a nod.  
  
Serena slipped her hand into Kristen's outstretched one. "Okay." She turned to Josh. "I love you Uncle Josh."  
  
Josh knelt down. "I love you too Angel."  
  
"You'll be here when I get done?"  
  
"I'll be here." Josh promised as he gave her a hug and a kiss  
  
Kristen gave Josh a small smile before leading Serena from the room.  
  
***********  
  
Kristen led Serena to the Judge's chambers.  
  
Serena looked around the room. "Is this where the Judge works?"  
  
"Yes, it is."  
  
"It is a nice office." Serena said as she looked around.  
  
Kristen led her across the room to a visitor's chair facing the desk and had her sit down. "The Judge will be here soon. Would you like to color while you wait?"  
  
"Okay." Serena agreed readily. She loved to color.  
  
Kristen gave the child a piece of paper and a box of crayons before sitting down to look through a file.  
  
Serena, perched on the edge of the edge chair, quietly and diligently setting to work.  
  
After a while the door opened and a woman in her early forties stepped into the room. She smiled at Serena who had looked up at the sound of the door closing. "Can you tell me about your picture?"  
  
Serena glanced at Kirsten.  
  
"This is Judge Smith, Serena." Kirsten said and Serena nodded.  
  
Serena held the picture toward the Judge. "This is my family."  
  
The Judge blinked. She hadn't expected such an easy opening. "Can you tell me about your family?" She asked as she sat in the chair next to Serena.  
  
She pointed to a small figure standing next to a tree. "This is me. I'm holding my puppy, Tuft. I'm holding Uncle Josh's hand." Josh had a backpack next to him on the ground.  
  
"That's Mommy." She pointed to a figure lying down at the side of the picture. "She is in the hospital cause she is very, very sick. Daddy's up there, in the sky because he died. He is an angel now." In the picture, Sam was very small, barely bigger than the birds flying near him.  
  
"This is Aunt CJ." CJ was standing next to Josh and was as tall as the tree. "Uncle Toby is holding Aunt CJ's hand cause they are going to get married. Grandma Clara is right there. That's Aunt Patty."  
  
She pointed to a cluster of three people. "That is Uncle Jed. He is President so that is a Secret Service Agent standing next to him. Aunt Abbey is on Uncle Jed's other side." The agent was all in black and was frowning. "This is Uncle Leo." Leo had a shock of white hair.  
  
She pointed to the last two people in the picture. "This is Zoey and this is Amy."  
  
"That is a very nice picture." The Judge complimented and meant it. The child had artistic talent, she thought. "Is that everyone in your family?"  
  
Serena shook her head. "No. Aunt Patty has children but I don't know them very well so I didn't put them in." She paused for a moment. "And I didn't put Grandma Alana in because she doesn't like anyone else and she wants to kill Tuft."  
  
"What makes you think that she wants to kill Tuft?" Judge Smith was taken back by the answer, had Serena been prepped to say this?  
  
"I heard her tell Uncle Josh to get rid of Tuft and she didn't care how. She said he better do it or else she'd find a way to do it." Her eyes turned pleading. "You won't let her will you?"  
  
"I won't let her hurt your dog." Judge Smith told her as she thought of her three-year-old granddaughter. Who said something like that in front of a child so young?  
  
Serena smiled brightly. "Good."  
  
Judge Smith looked down at the picture. "Tuft is a very pretty dog."  
  
Serena beamed. "Thank you."  
  
"How long have you had Tuft?"  
  
"Uncle Josh got Tuft for me as a Hanukah present. Tuft is a Hairless Chinese Crested." She spoke enthusiastically. "Hanukah is right before Christmas. Uncle Toby says it is the Jewish equivalent of Christmas."  
  
Judge Smith raised an eyebrow at the child's vocabulary. She shouldn't be surprised, she thought. She should have expected that a child raised in the environment Serena was raised in would be advanced.  
  
Serena frowned. "Grandma Alana came for Christmas but she didn't stay very long. She didn't like Tuft because Tuft makes her sick but it isn't Tuft's fault."  
  
"Oh?"  
  
Serena nodded vehemently. "She got really angry when she found out that Uncle Josh hadn't gotten rid of Tuft." She lowered her voice. "It scared me cause she was acting mean. I don't know what happened then because Elsie took me upstairs so she could meet Tuft. I heard Grandma Alana yelling at Uncle Josh before she left though."  
  
"Had Grandma ever scared you before?"  
  
Serena thought for a few moments. "No."  
  
"Do you like DC, Serena?"  
  
Serena answered immediately. "Yes, but only because that is where Uncle Josh and my mommy are. I like living with Uncle Josh. He moved into my Mommy and Daddy's house, to take care of me." She was comfortable now so she was volunteering information.  
  
"Can you tell me about your house?"  
  
"The backyard is really big. Daddy said that was really important because I needed somewhere to let my energy out at. Now, Tuft gets to play out there with me. He can only go outside if I'm with him though. Uncle Josh says that Tuft is fragile and could get hurt if he was outside without me."  
  
Judge Smith smiled. Serena's excitement over having the puppy was obvious in her voice. "That sounds nice. Can you tell me about your bedroom?"  
  
Serena laughed. "Uncle Josh doesn't like my room. I know because he scrunched up his face a little when I was choosing everything. Zoey says he doesn't like it cause it is girly and he has no appreciation for that." She paused as if trying to picture her room. "It is decorated in shades of pinks and white. I have stuffed animals every where." She beamed. "I collect stuffed animals. I have stuffed versions of native animals from every country and state we visit with Uncle Jed."  
  
"Do you take a lot of trips with the President?" Judge Smith was surprised at how easy it was to get this child to be open with her. It was usually a lot more difficult than this with a child Serena's age.  
  
She nodded. "Sometimes. Before the election we traveled a lot. Now we only travel sometimes. Sometimes Uncle Jed goes but Uncle Josh and I don't."  
  
"Do you have fun on the trips?"  
  
"Most of the time. I really like the rides on Airforce One." She grinned. "Last time, Uncle Jed played hid and seek with me during the plane ride. It was easy to find him though because his agents wouldn't hide. He said they were no fun. Sometimes Uncle Josh lets me go hear Uncle Jed's speeches. When they have meetings that I can't go to, Amy takes me sight seeing. Sometimes Aunt Abbey comes too."  
  
"It sounds like you have a really good time with Uncle Josh."  
  
"I do." She met the Judge's eyes. "I really miss my mom and dad but if I can't live with them, I'm glad that I have Uncle Josh."  
  
"Can you tell me about your nanny?"  
  
Serena nodded. "Amy has taken care of me since right after I moved in with my Daddy. I love her a lot and she loves me too." She smiled. "Zoey says I'm lucky like that. A whole bunch of people love me to pieces. She says that that is why Grandma Alana is fighting Uncle Josh to raise me. Grandma Alana loves me and wants to be with me all the time." Her smile faded. "I love her too but I don't want to live with her. I'd miss Uncle Josh too much."  
  
Judge Smith smiled, then began a new line of questioning. She had noticed Serena spoke quite a bit about Zoey, "You're talking about Zoey Bartlett aren't you?"  
  
"Yes. She is Uncle Jed's daughter."  
  
"Do you spend a lot of time with Zoey?"  
  
Serena nodded emphatically. "Zoey comes over a lot and some times I go see her at the White House. Sometimes she even goes places with Uncle Josh and I."  
  
The Judge carefully kept her expression neutral. "Oh? Do you mean Zoey sometimes goes along when you and Uncle Josh go on Airforce One with the President?"  
  
"Sometimes she does but that wasn't what I meant."  
  
"Oh?"  
  
"A few weeks ago, she went shopping with Uncle Josh and I to help me get new clothes." She rolled her eyes. "I love Uncle Josh but he has no taste. But Zoey does and Uncle Josh listens to her." She paused before continuing. "Last weekend she went to a movie with us."  
  
"Did you enjoy the movie?"  
  
"It was a good movie." Serena told her. "It was about a horse named Spirit."  
  
Judge Smith smiled. "I took my granddaughter to see that movie. She really liked it. Did Uncle Josh and Zoey like it?"  
  
Serena grinned. "I don't know. Every time I looked at them, they were watching each other, not the movie."  
  
Judge Smith blinked not exactly sure what to make of the child's observances. Serena seemed very astute but she was only four. She could be reading things wrong. Smiling, she stood up. "It was very nice meeting you Serena."  
  
Serena smiled back. That was easy just like Uncle Josh, Aunt CJ, and Dillion had told her it would be. "You too. Can I go back to Uncle Josh now?"  
  
"Yes, you may."  
  
"Thank you."  
  
*************  
  
When Serena got back to the small waiting room, Amy had joined the others.  
  
Josh smiled when Serena came through the door holding on to Kristen's hand. "I drew this picture for you Uncle Josh."  
  
Josh accepted the drawing. "Thank you, Angel. It's a very pretty drawing."  
  
Serena shrugged. "I know."  
  
CJ choked back a laugh at the nonchalant tone of Serena's voice.  
  
"Amy's going to take you home, okay?"  
  
"I don't want to go home if you're staying here." Serena's eyes pleaded with Josh to let her stay.  
  
Josh sighed. "The rest of us have to go to the court room so we can talk to the Judge."  
  
"Can't I come to? I promise I'll be really quiet." Her tone turned petulant. "I don't want to go home yet." Her lower lip protruded.  
  
Josh fought back his sigh. This was not the time for Serena to throw one of her rare fits.  
  
Thinking fast, Clara knelt down next to Serena. "You know what?"  
  
"What?" Serena asked suspiciously.  
  
"You can stay if you want to."  
  
Serena grinned. She had gotten her way.  
  
"But." Clara continued. "I didn't think you'd want to."  
  
"Why?" Serena asked quizzically.  
  
"Because we are all here." Clara said as if that should make it all clear.  
  
"Yeah." That was the point.  
  
Clara shrugged as she stood up. "I just thought that Tuft might be lonely without any of us."  
  
Serena's eyes widened. She turned to Josh. "Tuft is alone?"  
  
"Yes, he is."  
  
She looked at Amy. "I want to go see Tuft before he gets scared. He probably misses me already."  
  
Josh glanced over at his mother after Serena had given all of them hugs and left clutching Amy's hand. "You're good."  
  
Clara laughed. "How could I not be, with you as a son?"  
  
"You used to do that with me?"  
  
Leo burst out laughing. "Are you kidding? All she had to do was tell you your fish was lonely and you'd beg to go home. It worked until you were about six."  
  
The social worker was watching them all with amusement. She was now positive that she'd made the right recommendation to the Judge.  
  
*********  
  
An hour later  
  
*********  
  
Josh stepped into the courtroom and glanced around. The last few rows on both sides of the room were filled with reporters who were furiously writing even though nothing was happening yet. His eyes quickly skimmed over them without bothering to take in any details.  
  
Stepping farther into the room, his eyes fell on Toby and CJ who were sitting together near the front. CJ had leaned towards Toby and was whispering something to him. Whatever she had said, Toby nodded barely perceptively.  
  
A tiny frown came to his face as he saw the occupants of the row directly behind where he and Dillion would be. His mother was sitting with Leo. They were talking quietly, both smiling. They should know better, Josh thought. The last things they needed were rumors about them. His frown disappeared. Zoey was sitting on Leo's other side and had turned a bit so that she could meet Josh's eyes.  
  
Holding Zoey's gaze as long as he dared, Josh moved forward to slip into his seat next to Dillion who was glancing over his notes.  
  
Josh glanced across the room to where Alana and her lawyer were sitting. Alana's lawyer was busy writing something but Alana was staring across the room at Josh. Josh hid his scowl when he noticed that the woman looked far different today than she always did when she came to visit Serena. She was wearing a stylish and very modest dress suit in navy blue. Her hair was styled differently than it had been at Christmas and traces of gray had been allowed to appear near her temples. Her makeup was very light and she wore only a simple necklace and her wedding band from her late husband.  
  
He forced himself out of his reverie as the Judge entered the room and everyone stood.  
  
CJ watched as the first witness, a child psychologist, took the stand. The man had met with Serena several times in the last couple of weeks and knew her relatively well. He told the court that Serena was an extremely well adjusted child and very advanced, not just mentally but emotionally as well. Things that other four-year-olds had little concept of, such as time, Serena understood very well.  
  
Dillion asked the psychologist what could happen if a puppy were to be taken from Serena and the psychologist responded that at Serena's age that could permanently affect her ability to bond with people as well as with animals.  
  
Next, Serena's pediatrician took the stand. She testified that Serena was a happy, healthy, and well cared for child. She was still seeing the child monthly but as of her last checkup, Serena was leukemia free. It was however, imperative that Serena continue to see her once a month as she had had an acute case and was not cured. She was only in remission and the disease could return at any time. It would not be wise for Serena to be away from DC for long periods of time as she missed appointments.  
  
Alana's lawyer asked why Serena could not see a pediatrician in Maryland when she was visiting Alana. The doctor responded that she was a pediatric cancer specialist and was familiar with Serena's case and Serena was comfortable with her. While Alana might be able to find a pediatric cancer specialist, she would not be able to find either of the other two things as easily.  
  
Next, Zoey was called to the stand. Zoey gave Josh a small smile as she passed him. Josh returned the smile, knowing that no reporters could see it.  
  
"How long have you known Joshua Lyman?" Dillion asked.  
  
"Since my father's first campaign when I was about sixteen-years-old."  
  
"Do you consider yourself close to Josh?"  
  
"He is one of my closest friends and has been for years." Zoey answered truthfully.  
  
"How long have you known Serena Seaborn?"  
  
Zoey smiled as she pictured the adorable toddler that Serena had been, even with leukemia ravaging her body. "I met Serena during her first visit to DC with her father, Sam. She was almost two-years old."  
  
"Did you see Serena often after that?"  
  
"Yes, I did."  
  
"Were you at Sam Seaborn's wedding to Donna Moss?"  
  
Zoey's smile faded temporarily. "Yes, I was. I held Serena through part of the ceremony."  
  
"Would you say that you are close to the child?"  
  
Zoey's smile broadened. "Very close."  
  
"Were you at Josh and Serena's home on Christmas day?"  
  
"No, I was not. I was in New Hampshire with my family."  
  
"Do you know anything about what happened at the house on Christmas?"  
  
"I saw Josh and Serena a few days after Christmas. While I was upstairs, alone with Serena, she told me about her Christmas."  
  
"What did she tell you?"  
  
"She told me that she wished she was in New Hampshire with my family and I because Christmas was scary at her house. She said that her grandma Alana got very angry and said that Tuft had to go and she didn't care where. She said that she thought Alana wanted to kill the puppy and take her from Josh."  
  
"Objection, your honor, hearsay."  
  
Judge Smith warned Dillion, "Counsel, you should know better."  
  
"Yes, Ma'am, let me rephrase that."  
  
"Ms. Bartlett, what did you observer about Serena when she told you about her Christmas experiences?"  
  
"She was frightened." Zoey took a deep breath and stole a quick glance at Josh as it pained her to have to say this in public. "She told me that Christmas wasn't fun this year."  
  
"No further questions." Dillion stated.  
  
Alana's lawyer stood. He wasn't going to let her step down without questioning her as he had done the last time. "You spend a lot of time with Serena and Mr. Lyman, don't you Miss. Bartlett?"  
  
Zoey met his gaze. "Yes."  
  
"What is your relationship with Serena?"  
  
Zoey frowned. "I'm not sure I know what you mean."  
  
"Do you consider yourself to be an aunt, a cousin, a maternal figure.?" He prompted.  
  
"She calls me by my name, without a title attached."  
  
"That is not what I asked."  
  
Zoey had no idea how to answer him. She didn't even know how to answer herself on that one. "I guess I'm more of a friend." She finally said.  
  
The lawyer looked pleased with her answer. Or perhaps it was her hesitation, Zoey thought.  
  
"What is your relationship with Mr. Lyman?"  
  
"He is one of my closest friends." Zoey said for the second time in less than a half-hour. Did these people not listen?  
  
"How much time do you spend with Mr. Lyman and Serena?"  
  
Zoey shrugged. "It just depends. There isn't a set amount of time that I spend with them each week."  
  
"Do you ever spend time with Mr. Lyman without Serena along as well?"  
  
"Yes I do."  
  
As he listened to the line of questioning, Josh shifted in his seat. He glared at Dillion, willing the other man to do something. Dillion remained seated, wondering where opposing counsel was going with this line of questions, if there might be something he knew, which Dillion didn't.  
  
Leo studied his Goddaughter carefully. She was beginning to look very uncomfortable, as though she didn't know how to answer the questions she was being asked. He shifted his gaze to Josh. The younger man's hands were clenched by his sides. Leo hoped that the reporters could not see that.  
  
"How often do you see Mr. Lyman? That is, without Serena present?" The lawyer asked.  
  
"Again, I'm not exactly sure. It varies."  
  
" Miss Bartlett, are your and Mr. Lyman's." He hesitated, then went on in a staged voice, "Meetings" He said the word in a manner which insinuated something other than the usual meaning of the word, then paused, for dramatic effect, "related to his job as your father's Deputy Chief of Staff?"  
  
Zoey did not like his tone and did not have to hesitate this time. This did not involve her father. "No. The time we spend together is personal."  
  
Toby held back his groan. Personal? Did she have to say that? Without looking, he knew that the reporters were writing furiously. They were undoubtedly elated at this development, true or not.  
  
Zoey did not realize her blunder.  
  
"Miss Bartlet, what is the exact nature of your relationship with Mr. Lyman?"  
  
The tension in the room was palpable as they all awaited Zoey's answer. The opposing counsel saw the look of uncertainty in her eyes, and realized he had made a rookie's mistake. Never ask a question if you don't know the answer. He suddenly realized that forcing the President's youngest daughter to publicly admit to what he assumed was a sexual relationship with one of the President's senior counselors was not a good career move. He backpedaled quickly, before she could answer.  
  
"Let me rephrase that, Zoey, are you dating Josh Lyman?"  
  
"Josh and I are just friends, close friends." Zoey replied firmly, even though she realized she had blindly walked into the attorney's trap. She forced herself to not look at Josh, she had tiptoed her way around publicly acknowledging their fledging romance.  
  
Dillion saw Josh's face cloud with anger and met his eyes warningly. Without glancing down he wrote a word on his pad of paper and pushed it into Josh's line of site - 'Serena'.  
  
Josh looked down at Serena's name and choked back his anger. He knew that it was imperative that he stay in control for Serena's sake. It would break Serena's heart if she was forced to leave him and everyone else she was close to, to move to Alana's house. And he didn't know if he could survive loosing his little girl.  
  
Clara bit her lip. She had warned Josh a few days before Christmas. He had insisted that there was nothing more than friendship between himself and Zoey. Now, she wasn't sure if that was the case. She could see her son's anger at the questions. He had been doing a very good job of keeping himself under control until Zoey's testimony.  
  
Alana grinned. This was exactly what she needed. She needed for the Judge to have doubts about Josh's moral integrity. Plus, as an added bonus, she was going to get to watch the press crucify Josh and President Bartlett's amoral Administration.  
  
The lawyer saw the Judge watching Josh's reaction and decided that the seed of doubt had been planted, no need to push that line further. "No further questions."  
  
As Zoey walked back to her seat, she met Josh's eyes again. This time it was he who smiled, just barely. They both knew that this could be bad.  
  
Next, Will was called to the stand and Josh mentally crossed his fingers that Will's testimony would help get them back on track.  
  
"Have you ever met Alana Farrel?"  
  
"During the last year and a half I've met Mrs. Farrel several times in passing."  
  
"When was the last time you saw Mrs. Farrel?"  
  
Will forced his grin back. "On Christmas morning at Josh Lyman's house."  
  
"Can you tell us about that morning?"  
  
"We all arrived at Josh's at about 8:00 in the morning."  
  
"Who is 'we all'?" Dillion interrupted.  
  
"Mrs. Farrel, CJ Cregg, Toby Zeigler, Leo McGarry, my sister Elsie, and myself." Will answered before going on. "Serena started opening her presents as we all watched. Once all of the gifts were opened, CJ asked Serena if she had thought of any names. Mrs. Farrel asked whom Serena was naming. Someone told her that Serena was naming CJ's new fish as well as her own puppy and Mrs. Farrel got very angry at Josh."  
  
Will paused to let those words sink in before he continued. He knew how to pace a speech for dramatic effect.  
  
"Purportedly, the dog would make her ill. I pointed out that she had been at the house for over an hour and was having no symptoms so as long as she stayed away from the animal she should be fine. Serena was very upset so my sister took her upstairs to see the dog, Tuft. Mrs. Farrel continued yelling at Josh."  
  
Yet another pause.  
  
"Josh listened to her until he had had enough and told her to leave. She told him that he had to let her stay because of the court ordered visitation. He again told her to leave and she left the room. I picked up the camcorder CJ had been using to videotape Serena opening her gifts and followed after the others. Mrs. Farrel said that if she couldn't stay than she'd take Serena with her. CJ blocked her and Alana got even angrier. After a few more minutes Toby got her to leave but she said one last time that a court would now have to decide."  
  
Will took a sip of water, waiting for his words to sink in.  
  
"Serena came downstairs a few minutes later clutching the puppy close. She was terrified and very insecure, it took us several hours to calm her down."  
  
Dillon nodded, Will was an excellent witness. "Did you continue to video tape after Mrs. Farrel left?"  
  
"Yes I did."  
  
Dillion faced the Judge. "Your Honor, I'd like to submit the tape in question as evidence."  
  
As the tape was shown, Josh couldn't help but grin. Sure, he cussed in it but Alana was acting like Cruella DeVil.  
  
After the tape played, Alana's lawyer approached Will. "Did my client know that you were video taping the incident?"  
  
"She knew that we had a camcorder there to tape Serena's first Christmas with Josh."  
  
"But did she know that you were taping at that moment?" He pressed.  
  
"No." Will admitted.  
  
"Did the others know that you were taping their reactions?"  
  
"No they did not."  
  
"But they found out before Serena came downstairs?"  
  
"Yes."  
  
"So one could say that Serena was led to say what she did on tape?"  
  
"She wasn't led. She said what she wanted to say." Will disagreed.  
  
"So, the child knew the camera was there?"  
  
"No." Will admitted.  
  
"No further questions."  
  
This guy was good, Toby couldn't help thinking. This was going to be more of a fight than they had thought. They had expected that Josh would win hands down but this was likely going to be very close.  
  
"Ms. Cregg," Dillion said once CJ was seated at the witness stand and sworn in. "Are you close to Serena?"  
  
"Very."  
  
"You are, in fact, named to take custody of the child if something were to happen to Josh Lyman, aren't you?"  
  
"Yes, my fiancée, Toby Zeigler and I are so named."  
  
"Do you spend very much time with Serena?"  
  
"Yes, I do."  
  
"Is Josh ever there too?"  
  
"Quite often." CJ answered, suppressing a smile. Dillion was obviously trying to draw attention away from the possibility of a relationship between Josh and Zoey by showing that he spent a substantial amount of time with the rest of them on non-work related things as well.  
  
"You are close to Josh?"  
  
"He is one of my closest friends." She answered as Zoey had.  
  
"In a non-romantic way?"  
  
"In a non-romantic way." CJ confirmed.  
  
"No further questions."  
  
"How much time do you spend alone with Mr. Lyman, Ms. Cregg?" Alana's lawyer asked.  
  
"We work relatively closely together."  
  
"Non-work related." He interrupted.  
  
"Not very much." CJ admitted.  
  
"No further questions."  
  
They took a short recess before Leo and Toby each took the stand. They testified on the things that had already been covered. Both insisted that they knew nothing about a romantic relationship between Josh and Zoey.  
  
The last witness was the assistant manager from the hotel Alana had stayed at over Christmas.  
  
The reporters sitting at the back of the courtroom were watching the high profile occupants of the room. A few of them noted that several of them had tensed a bit when the hotel manager took the stand. They seemed to be watching the man intently as if they were waiting for something. The reporters looked at each other, none had a clue as to why the man was called to testify.  
  
Alana's attorney did not understand why this witness had been called. He objected when the bill was introduced as an exhibit, but was over ruled. Apparently the bill had been included in the trial exhibit package, as part of Josh's financial documents, but the attorney hadn't looked at it. He quickly scanned it and felt his stomach sink as its implications sunk in.  
  
Alana felt her back stiffen as Josh's lawyer started to go over her hotel bill in detail. She could not believe her stupidity. She had not even thought of this possibility and she should have as Josh had agreed to pay the bill. Why would he pay it without going over it in detail? He had probably planned something like this the whole time, she fumed silently.  
  
CJ bit the inside of her cheek hard as Dillion started to read the room service charges on the bill. This was good. So, so good.  
  
Zoey choked back a laugh as Dillon finally started to detail the alcohol that Alana had had sent to her room during the nine days that she was staying there. How could the woman have been that stupid? She'd known that Josh was going to get the bill. Had she actually thought that he wouldn't read it?  
  
The reporters wrote furiously. Apparently, Alana Farrel was an alcoholic. This court case was going to be an even bigger story than any of them had thought. First the revelation that the youngest First Daughter might be involved in a romantic relationship with her father's Deputy Chief of Staff, now this.  
  
Judge Smith looked out at the people in her courtroom at the end of the day's testimonies. This decision was harder than she had expected it to be. "Let's break for a half-hour recess."  
  
An impatient Josh paced the courtroom, everyone left him alone in his thoughts as the time crept by. Josh caught Dillion's eye. "What do you think?"  
  
Dillion immediately remembered a similar conversation with Donna and his expression softened a fraction. He would have liked to get to know his friend's wife better. She had seemed like a very special person. "Josh, this doesn't necessarily mean anything. She may need to go to the restroom or get something to eat."  
  
"We recessed like an hour and a half ago." Josh argued. "She wants to go over something again."  
  
"Possibly." Dillion agreed.  
  
***********  
  
Judge Mary-Ellen Smith exited the courtroom and quickly made her way to her chambers. Sitting behind her desk, she picked up Serena's very thick file. She had never seen a file so thick for a child so young.  
  
Opening the file, she flipped through the transcripts from the prior hearings. Next, she reread the statement from the child's nanny. She noted that the statement was witnessed by a lawyer outside the case. She had halfway expected it to be witnessed by someone from the White House staff.  
  
Closing the file, she reached for her notes from her meeting with young Serena Seaborn earlier in the day. The child obviously adored Josh Lyman and the others from the White House. Her drawing and the explanation for her grandmother's absence had been very compelling.  
  
She frowned as she remembered the child's preoccupation with Zoey Bartlett. Serena had spoken about Zoey more often than anyone else, save Josh and the puppy. She was obviously very close to the young woman and spent a lot of time with her. Then, in court Mrs. Farrel's lawyer had brought up the possibility of a romantic relationship between the First Daughter and Josh. Everyone from the White House staff had categorically denied the accusations. But could they be wrong? Could there be a relationship that they didn't know about?  
  
She had watched Josh's reactions and expressions during Zoey's testimony. The man had been very upset. He had showed more reaction to that than anything else during the hearing. For a few moments, she actually thought that he might be about to lose control and say something. His lawyer had quickly reined him in by writing something on his pad of paper. She had to admit she was curious as to what the man had written.  
  
It was possible that no one was lying. It was possible that Zoey and Josh had not yet started dating but were about to. Since it was unproven, she couldn't let it impact her decision but she couldn't help but wonder what would happen if the two started dating.  
  
They were both adults, but he was at least twenty years older than her. He was also raising an impressionable young child. But it appeared that Serena was being actively included in their relationship, whatever it was. Zoey and Serena obviously adored each other.  
  
But a romantic relationship between the Deputy Chief of Staff and the First Daughter would spark a media frenzy which wouldn't be healthy for the child. Still, it had to be better than being raised by an alcoholic.  
  
Alana Farrel had had an inordinate amount of alcohol delivered to her room by room service. And the fact that she hadn't thought about the probability that Josh would read the bill was proof of how addicted she was to the liquid.  
  
The woman's anger issues were also very unhealthy and terrified the child. The video had proven that better than any testimony could have. The tape had begun in the middle of Serena opening presents delightedly. Once the child had finished, the camera had swept the room, showing the piles of presents everywhere. The room had looked like a children's store, she had thought amusedly. But the child she had met didn't act spoiled.  
  
Then the camera had been set down, still on. You could hear Alana's angry outburst but couldn't see anything. After a few minutes the camera was picked up and she had seen the rest of the incident unfold.  
  
Finally, Serena had come down the stairs clutching a tiny puppy to her chest, clinging to a young woman's hand, her eyes shining with fear and unshed tears. When she spoke, her voice held a tremor. Releasing the hand she was holding, she reached into her shirt and pulled a small charm necklace out. She held onto the tiny golden angel throughout the rest of the tape.  
  
Josh knelt down next to the little girl. His anger immediately faded and was replaced with a softness that Judge Smith was sure was reserved for the child. His opponents would probably be shocked to learn that he could display such tenderness. His voice had been gentle and loving when he spoke to the little girl.  
  
The tape alone had been enough to convince her of what she needed to do.  
  
***********  
  
They were all back in the courtroom by the time the Judge returned.  
  
Taking her seat, Judge Smith faced the audience. She skimmed over the anxious reporters in the last several rows, through the rows of friends for both Alana Farrel and Josh Lyman, and finally, at Alana, then Josh. Alana appeared calm and composed except for her eyes. Her eyes showed that she knew what the verdict was going to be. Josh looked more nervous. The Judge raised an eyebrow slightly when she noticed Zoey Bartlett lay a calming hand on his shoulder. His squirming instantly stopped.  
  
"This was not an easy decision for me to make." She began. "Both attorneys presented compelling cases as to why their client should raise Serena Seaborn." She smiled. "Serena is a delightful and well rounded child. You should both be very proud of her."  
  
Josh grinned at her words. It appeared that yet another person had been instantly rapped around Serena's finger.  
  
"It was apparent from my conversation with the child that she is a part of a very large and loving extended family. The removal of any of those people whom she loves so dearly from her world would crush her emotionally. She has had too much loss in her young life already for that to happen. "  
  
"The child psychologist presented a powerful argument for the damage removing the puppy, Tuft, from Serena would do. Based on my conversation with Serena, I agree. The puppy is very much a part of her immediate family."  
  
Alana scowled. The puppy. It was all that damned puppy's fault.  
  
"The idea of having Serena live with an excessive drinker also concerns me. Especially as the child is now very frightened of her grandmother. It would not be healthy for Serena to constantly live in a state of fear."  
  
"Full custody of Serena Seaborn goes to Joshua Lyman."  
  
Josh heard those nine words and immediately tuned out the rest of the Judge's words. Dillon would tell him anything else he needed to know. "Full custody of Serena Seaborn goes to Joshua Lyman." The sentence replayed in his mind. He had full custody of his little girl. She was his completely now. Not completely, he reminded himself. Not yet at least. There was still one more step he had to take before she would truly be his daughter.  
  
Alana scowled as the Judge left the courtroom. He had gotten full custody. She hadn't even gotten visitation. She was totally out of her granddaughter's life. She watched as Josh hugged his mother, Zoey, and CJ and was congratulated by Dillion, Leo, Toby, and Will.  
  
With one last sneer at Josh and his friends, she stood up and turned toward the door. She ignored her lawyer as he spoke to her and pushed past the reporters blocking the door.  
  
Walking down the steps, Alana refused to answer any questions. Starting her car, she realized that this was it. She was out of her granddaughter's life, possibly forever.  
  
She thought about appealing but what was the point? She knew that after today she had no chance of winning. And as much as most people probably doubted it, she really did love Serena. A senseless court battle wouldn't be healthy for the little girl.  
  
She'd miss Serena but maybe this was best. Josh and his friends all seemed to dote on the child. She was safe, happy, and well cared for with him.  
  
Pulling out of her spot, Alana silently said goodbye to her granddaughter.  
  
********  
  
Author's note: My knowledge of leukemia is limited and there may be mistakes in the material presented regarding the disease as some of my information comes from knowledge of Hodgkin's Disease and Non-Hodgkin's Lymphoma and has been adapted to fit leukemia. 


	3. A Beginning and an End

Disclaimer: Any characters that you recognize from the show don't belong to me. I am making no money off of them and am not worth suing.  
  
Author: Catgurl83  
  
Title: Changes Abound  
  
Feedback: Is much loved and appreciated.  
  
Pairing: Josh \ Zoey, CJ \ Toby, mentions of Sam \ Donna  
  
Rating: PG just to be safe.  
  
Author's note: This is the third installment in my Changes series. The first story is Unexpected Changes, which is followed by Continued Changes. Both can be found by clicking on my profile at fanfiction.net.  
  
As always, thanks to Classic She for all of her help with this story!  
  
************  
  
Dropping his backpack in his office, Josh hurried to Leo's office. The day before, at court, Leo had told Josh that they needed to talk. As Serena was at home waiting to find out what had happened and was probably very frightened, Leo had told Josh that they could talk first thing the next morning.  
  
Outside Leo's office, Margaret told Josh to go on in. Taking a breath, Josh braced himself for the conversation to come.  
  
As the door opened, Leo looked up. "Sit down."  
  
Josh sat in the visitor's chair across from Leo's desk.  
  
Leo picked up a newspaper and tossed it at Josh who caught it easily.  
  
Josh glanced down at the newspaper's cover and groaned. The cover photo was of all of them leaving the courthouse the day before but they had zoomed in so that only Josh, Zoey, and Leo's arm were shown. The picture made it look like Josh and Zoey had been walking together alone, instead of what actually happened, all of them were walking in a group as they pushed past the clamoring reporters.  
  
"Every major paper in the country has a similar front page."  
  
"It was all over the TV last night as well." Josh said quietly but angrily.  
  
"You had no indication that that was going happen?" Leo demanded.  
  
"We didn't even think that he'd cross-examine Zoey. He didn't last time." Josh explained. He ran his hand through his hair. "How's Zoey?"  
  
"You haven't spoken to her?"  
  
Josh barely held back his flinch at Leo's tone. "Not since we left court yesterday."  
  
"She spent the night in the Residence."  
  
"Good."  
  
"Is there any truth to the questions?"  
  
"We're friends Leo." Josh said with a deep sigh.  
  
"That's it?" Leo pressed. He had spent the evening before placating the President and musing on Josh and Zoey's relationship. Thinking back, he was able to come up with many scenarios where they had seemed very close. Too close? Possibly.  
  
Josh stood and crossed the room. "I still have feelings for Donna."  
  
Josh did still have feelings for Donna, Leo knew. But still. he sounded like he was trying to convince himself as much as he was Leo.  
  
"I care about Zoey." Josh went on. "She's one of my best friends." He turned back to Leo. "Hell Leo, she is my best friend now that Sam and Donna are gone."  
  
"She's barely more than a child, Josh."  
  
"She doesn't act like a child." Josh disagreed. "She's more mature than most people twice her age."  
  
"That doesn't erase the age difference." Leo stood as he gave a sigh of his own. "Hell Josh, you're twenty-two years older than Zoey."  
  
Josh leaned against the wall. "I know that." He'd told himself that same thing dozens of times. It didn't sound any more convincing when Leo said it.  
  
When did this discussion change? Leo wondered. When did it go from, Josh and Zoey definitely not being a thing, a couple, to the reasons why it was a bad idea?  
  
"Spending time with Zoey makes me happy." Josh went on, speaking softly now. "She makes Serena happy. I'm happier, that's not the right word, relaxed, content, comfortable, I don't know. When I'm with her, I feel better than I ever have felt with anyone, that is besides Donna or Serena."  
  
"Damn it Josh. We aren't having this conversation. It can't happen."  
  
"What if it already is?" Josh countered.  
  
Leo moved closer to the younger man. "I'm asking you one more time. Are you and Zoey romantically involved?" His eyes bore into Josh's.  
  
Josh hesitated. He didn't know how to answer that. He'd spend the entire night trying to answer that question to himself. All he could come up with was what he'd just told Leo. "I don't know."  
  
Leo slowly sat back down. He had halfway expected Josh's answer. Just by saying that he didn't know, Josh had answered Leo's question. "What are you going to do?"  
  
Josh stared at his boss.  
  
"Are you going to pursue this.relationship?"  
  
Josh again ran his hand through his hair. "I don't know. I want to. But it would cause so many problems if we did get together." He spoke quietly.  
  
Leo didn't say what he was thinking. He didn't say that it looked to him like they were together. They just hadn't admitted it to themselves yet. "It would cause a media frenzy." He gestured to the paper that Josh had set back on his desk. "But then, that has already happened."  
  
Josh was silent for a few minutes before finally asking, "What did you tell the President?" He knew that the President was probably waiting to pounce on Leo with questions the second he walked into the West Wing.  
  
"I told him that as far as I knew, Alana's council was just reaching. He had nothing substantial against you so he decided to fabricate something. I told the President that I'd talk to you today to be sure."  
  
"Now what?"  
  
"He wants to talk to you after our discussion is done." Leo informed him. "I expect that he'll ask you about your relationship with Zoey. I'd suggest that you don't answer him as you did me. You need to decide what you want before you talk to him. Is a relationship with Zoey worth it"  
  
Josh sat back in the visitor's chair.  
  
Leo picked up a file and started reading.  
  
"I know what I want." Josh said after several minutes.  
  
************  
  
CJ sat on the couch in her fiancée's office. "We should have figured it out before yesterday. All of the signs were there."  
  
Toby just continued writing as she spoke.  
  
"They spend so much time together. Every time I see Serena, she talks about something Zoey said or Zoey did. It's always Zoey this, or Zoey that. And at Sam's funeral, not only did Zoey stand with Josh during the graveside service but she rode back to the house in the limo with Josh and Serena."  
  
Toby finally looked up. "They might be friends like Zoey said on the stand yesterday."  
  
CJ shook her head. "Whether they know it or not, those two are more than friends."  
  
"You once said that exact same thing about Josh and Donna." Toby reminded her. "Less than six months later, Donna married Sam."  
  
CJ shrugged. "I was right about Josh. He did have feelings for her."  
  
"Whether or not they have feelings for each other, they cannot act on them."  
  
"It would be a sex scandal." CJ agreed. "And I doubt that the President would take it well."  
  
Toby went back to the speech he was writing.  
  
"Still, I can't see Zoey caring what her father's opinion is." CJ said as she stood.  
  
**************  
  
Leo stepped back through the door connecting his office to the Oval Office. "You can go in." He told Josh.  
  
Josh stepped into the Oval Office with trepidation.  
  
President Bartlett looked up, a glare on his face. Normally, he would have stood and moved over to the seating arrangement and motioned for Josh to sit opposite him. Now, he stayed behind his desk. He was more intimidating that way. "Was there any validity to the questions that Alana's lawyer asked Zoey?" He asked softly, alarmingly softly.  
  
"Zoey and I are not currently dating, Sir, if that is what you are asking." Josh answered as he fought hard to keep from squirming under the President's harsh gaze.  
  
"Currently? Are you planning on starting a relationship with my daughter?" The President inquired with deceptive calmness.  
  
Josh took a breath. "I'd like to have a relationship with Zoey. I have feelings for her. Strong feelings."  
  
Jed studied the younger man over his glasses. "You are over twenty years older than my daughter."  
  
"I understand that, Sir. I also understand that I care about her. Our age difference shouldn't matter."  
  
Their age difference shouldn't matter. Jed sighed. He had said the exact same thing to Leo almost forty years before. Of course, he was only thirteen years older than Abbey. Josh was twenty-two years older than Zoey.  
  
"You're in love with Donna." Jed accused. He was not going to let his baby girl date someone who was in love with someone else. Her heart would just be broken.  
  
It was Josh's turn to sigh. "I care about Donna and I always will. Donna has been in a coma for nearly a year. Even before that, she was not mine. She was my best friend's wife." He paused. "My feelings for Donna have been shifting, changing, for a long time."  
  
Two years before, he would not even have considered giving this relationship his permission, if not his blessing. He would not have considered trusting Josh with his baby girl's heart. Her life, yes. Without hesitation. Her heart, no. But since he had gotten custody of Serena, Josh had changed. He had changed allot. Josh seemed to genuinely care about Zoey, Jed mused. Zoey had dated much worse than Josh. The name Jean-Paul came to mind.  
  
Josh watched the President as he silently pondered the situation. It looked like he might actually be wavering. That was good because Josh had not been relishing the possible repercussions of this. He liked being alive and living in America.  
  
Jed finally leveled Josh with a look. "If you hurt her, I'll kill you."  
  
Josh swallowed hard at the expression on the older man's face. He didn't doubt that Jed was serious. He wouldn't need Secret Service assistance, he'd kill Josh with his own hands. "Yes Sir."  
  
"That's IF Zoey returns your feelings and wants a relationship." Jed added, praying that Zoey didn't.  
  
"Yes, Sir." Josh said again, managing to control his grin but just barely. Would he be like that when Serena was older?  
  
Jed went back to whatever he had been reading and Josh realized that he had been dismissed. "Thank you, Sir." He said before exiting through the main door. It struck him that he had just thanked the President for threatening to kill him but he didn't care. The President had actually given him his permission to date Zoey.  
  
As Josh stepped out of the Oval, Charlie looked up from the newspaper that he was reading, a scowl on his face.  
  
Josh caught a glimpse of the front of the paper. He groaned. Where had they gotten that picture? And why wasn't it run before now? The picture showed Josh at Sam's graveside service. He had Serena in his arms, her head buried against his neck. Zoey stood beside Josh, running her hand over the little girl's hair as she said something soothingly.  
  
Charlie fixed Josh with the coldest look that Josh had seen the younger man use. "If you hurt her, you're dead." He stood up and walked away without another word.  
  
There seemed to be a line forming to physically harm him, Josh thought with mild amusement. Who would join it next? The First Lady? Probably. Leo? Also, probably. CJ would also likely issue some sort of threat.  
  
He didn't care. He didn't plan on hurting Zoey.  
  
************  
  
Flipping to another channel, Zoey sighed. It seemed as if every channel was covering the events of the custody hearing the day before.  
  
Some of the channels even had so call 'experts' discussing the implications of her testimony. A groan broke past her lips as her words were repeated. Now, she could hear her own mistakes. Had she actually said that her relationship with Josh was personal and did not concern her father? Unfortunately, she had and now the guests on the news program she was watching were arguing over what she had meant. She smiled wryly, she didn't know what she meant, maybe the experts could figure it out for her.  
  
How had she made such a stupid mistake? She should have known better than to say that. But all that she could think of was keeping her father out of it. She had felt that she had to try to protect him and the Administration from the rumors that were going to come after her testimony as best as she could.  
  
She had hoped that it would blow over. It didn't look like that was going to happen anytime soon. She should have been more careful the day before.  
  
Glancing over at the clock, she realized that CJ would be briefing in less than an hour. She knew that CJ was going to get questions on her testimony. She had the evening before but had refused to answer them. She couldn't refuse the questions indefinitely.  
  
Zoey knew that they were going to have to deny the accusations and rumors but wished that they didn't have to. Even more, she wished that they were true.  
  
In her heart, she knew that she and Josh had something more than a close friendship. She was in love with him. And she knew that he returned her feelings, at least in part. But did he know that? But she hadn't actually lied on the stand because technically, she and Josh were not a couple.  
  
"Zoey?"  
  
Zoey's head snapped up at the sound of the familiar voice. A smile transformed her face when she saw who was standing before her. "Josh. Sit down."  
  
Returning her smile, Josh sat across from her.  
  
"How is Serena?"  
  
Josh's smile turned to a grin. "She was ecstatic last night when I told her." His grin widened. "I don't know what she was happier about. Getting to stay with me, or getting to keep Tuft."  
  
Zoey laughed softly. She could imagine Serena's expression at the news. "How did she feel about not having any visitation with Alana?" She asked curiously.  
  
"She said that she'd miss not seeing her grandmother but she wouldn't miss having to go to Maryland to stay with Alana. She said that she didn't like those visits."  
  
Zoey looked down.  
  
"You knew that she didn't like going to Maryland?" Josh asked in a surprised voice.  
  
"After the last hearing, she told me that going to her grandma's scared her because she was afraid that you'd be in an accident going to get her like her parents were. " She spoke softly. Looking up she met Josh's eyes, her own apologetic. "I'm sorry, Josh. I couldn't tell you. She asked me not to. And all it would have done was upset you and make you feel guilty for having to make her go." Her eyes pleaded for him to understand.  
  
Josh swallowed, reaching over to take Zoey's hand. "I know and it is okay. She doesn't have to go to Alana's anymore."  
  
Zoey's eyes lit with surprise and joy as she felt Josh take her hand.  
  
"I talked to your father and Leo this morning."  
  
Zoey's smile was replaced with a frown. She could imagine his conversation with her overprotective father.  
  
"They both asked me if there was any legitimacy to the questions that Alana's lawyer asked you. I didn't know what to say at first. Finally I answered with the truth."  
  
Zoey sucked in her breath.  
  
"I told them both that I have feelings for you."  
  
"Feelings?" Zoey repeated. She could not believe what she had just heard.  
  
"Feelings." Josh confirmed. "Romantic feelings."  
  
A grin lit Zoey's face and sparkled within her eyes. "You said that to my father and are still here to tell me about it?"  
  
Josh chuckled. "It wasn't as bad as you'd think. He gave me permission to date you."  
  
Zoey's mouth dropped open.  
  
Josh chuckled again. "Don't look so surprise Zo. I can be a very persuasive person when I want to be."  
  
"Date?"  
  
The self-assuredness faded from Josh's eyes. "If you want to. If you don't return my."  
  
Zoey interrupted him. "Josh, I do."  
  
"You do?" Josh repeated.  
  
"Yes, I return your feelings." She laughed. "Or I could say, you return mine as I've had feelings for you longer than you've had them for me."  
  
Surprise filled Josh's eyes at her admission. "If you're talking about the campaign, that was a crush, Zo."  
  
"I'm not talking about the first campaign. But afterward, my crush started to grow and metamorphous. It was years before I even entertained the idea of doing something about it though."  
  
"What changed your mind?" Josh wondered aloud.  
  
"Donna." At Josh's shocked look, Zoey went on. "Right before her wedding, after the others had left the room, she told me that she could tell that I had feelings for you. She told me that she thought that I should go for it. I thought about it for awhile and decided that she was right."  
  
"She was right." He said after a moment.  
  
"Are we going to tell the press?" Zoey questioned, still smiling.  
  
Josh thought about that. He hadn't discussed it with either the President or Leo. "I think we'll have to acknowledge that we are dating, once we start. They are going to ask directly and we can't lie about it. Plus they'll be watching us very closely."  
  
Zoey cringed the tiniest bit. "The media is going to go into even more of a frenzy aren't they?"  
  
"Probably." Josh admitted reluctantly.  
  
A thought occurred to her. "Your job? Your career?"  
  
"Your father gave me his permission. My job is safe." He assured her.  
  
"Your career?" She asked worriedly.  
  
"Since your dad isn't firing me, my career should be fine too."  
  
Zoey nodded, relieved. She smiled again. "Serena is going to be happy."  
  
Josh's smile engulfed his face as he pictured his little girl. "Yes, she is." He was going to have to tell her soon, as their relationship was going to be so high profile and she might hear something at school. School. He looked down at his watch. He had given in and gotten a working watch when he'd gotten custody of Serena so that when he told her he'd be somewhere at a certain time, he'd be on time.  
  
Josh stood. "It's time for Amy to bring Serena by. Do you want to come see her?"  
  
Zoey stood. "I'd love that."  
  
***********  
  
That night, Josh stepped into the house. Walking past the entrance, he heard giggles coming from upstairs. With a grin, he mounted the steps quietly so that Serena wouldn't hear him.  
  
Serena was in her bedroom, rolling on the floor laughing as Amy tickled her.  
  
Josh leaned against the doorframe waiting for Serena to notice him.  
  
Tuft stood to the side, watching his owner with a cocked head and a curious expression. Not willing to be left out of the fun, the puppy bounded over to Serena and Amy and jumped onto Serena's chest to start licking her face.  
  
Josh was unable to resist laughing at the puppy's antics. At the sound, all three of the room's other occupants looked up.  
  
Serena grinned as she jumped up, gently set Tuft down, and propelled herself at Josh.  
  
Josh caught the child easily, noticing the look of amusement on Amy's face. "What did you have for dinner Angel?"  
  
Serena's grin widened. "We had Spaghetti O's, garlic bread, and peas. We saved a plate for you." She offered mischievously. She knew how much Josh couldn't stand Spaghetti O's which was why Amy always let her have them on days when Josh wasn't going to be home during dinner.  
  
Josh held back his cringe. "Thank you Angel. That was nice of you. I think I'll have a sandwich though."  
  
Serena shrugged. "Okay."  
  
"Keep me company while I eat?"  
  
Serena smiled. "Can Tuft come?"  
  
"Sure." He thought it was adorable that the child was reluctant to let the dog out of her sight when she was home.  
  
Serena crossed the room to where Tuft was sitting, watching the humans interact inquisitively, and picked him up.  
  
Josh smiled at Amy. "How was she this afternoon?"  
  
"Great. We made cookies."  
  
Josh nodded. "I'll put her to bed tonight."  
  
Amy nodded. "Goodnight." She looked down at Serena who had just joined them. "Night Serena."  
  
Serena hugged her leg one handedly while still clutching Tuft gently. "Night Amy."  
  
As Amy disappeared to her room, Josh, Serena, and Tuft went down to the kitchen.  
  
Josh made himself a grilled cheese sandwich and grabbed a soda from the fridge.  
  
"Can I have a soda?"  
  
Josh hesitated before nodding. "Half a glass of sprite." He poured her the drink before sitting down at the table with his dinner.  
  
"How would you feel about me starting to date?" Josh asked after swallowing a bit of his sandwich.  
  
Serena's eyes widened. "Date? Who would you date? Would they like me?" Uncertainty filled her eyes.  
  
"She already does." He assured her. "It is Zoey whom I want to date."  
  
A smile lit her face. "I like Zoey." She announced before frowning again. "What would be different if you dated her?"  
  
"She might be around more."  
  
She grinned broadly again.  
  
"Sometimes, Zoey and I would go places without you though." He warned.  
  
Serena shrugged. "That would be okay."  
  
Josh smiled at her easygoing attitude. She had accepted it well. Of course, he'd known that she would.  
  
After a few silent moments, Serena asked a question. "Are you going to marry Zoey?"  
  
Josh quickly swallowed his coke, fighting to keep from choking. "What Angel?"  
  
"Are you going to marry Zoey?" Serena calmly repeated.  
  
Stalling for time, Josh finished his drink and the last bite of his sandwich and walked the dishes to the sink. Turning back to Serena he asked, "Why would you ask that Angel?"  
  
Serena shrugged her small shoulders. "Daddy married Mommy and Uncle Toby and Aunt CJ are going to get married. They all dated."  
  
Josh sat back down. "Zoey and I are just starting dating Angel. We aren't anywhere close to that step yet."  
  
"Will you be?"  
  
"I don't know. It is possible." Very possible, he thought. "But neither of us know for sure. That is why we are dating. To get to know each other better."  
  
Serena frowned in confusion. "You already know each other well."  
  
"We know each other as friends." Josh tried to explain in terms that a four- year-old would understand. "We have to get to know each other romantically."  
  
"Oh." She said as she pondered his words. After several moments, she stood up. "Can I have my story now?"  
  
"You need to brush your teeth first."  
  
"I already did."  
  
Josh hid his smile. She knew why she needed to brush them again. "You had a drink so you have to brush them again."  
  
"Okay." She agreed with a sigh.  
  
After she had brushed her teeth, they settled on her bed together to begin The Little Princess. They had finished Black Beauty the day before.  
  
***************  
  
Sitting in his office, Josh listened to CJ's briefing. Since Zoey was the President's daughter they had decided that they couldn't strictly go with 'the White House doesn't comment on the personal lives of its staff' as she would if it was just Josh they were asking about.  
  
CJ finished reading her statement and asked for questions.  
  
"CJ, how long have they been dating?" A reporter named Michael asked.  
  
"They discovered how they felt about each other during the custody hearing.. After a discussion the next day, they decided to start dating. Danny?"  
  
"How does the President feel about his youngest daughter dating one of his advisors?"  
  
"Their relationship was given the President's blessing."  
  
Josh snorted. Blessing? Not quite. President Bartlett wasn't happy about the situation. He had given Josh permission though and that was all that Josh needed.  
  
A few minutes later CJ stepped off of the stage and Josh flipped the TV off. It was done. The press knew that he and Zoey were definitely a couple. Now, it would start. Every move they made would be watched. Every word either of them said in public, scrutinized.  
  
The intercom buzzed and with a sigh, Josh pushed the button. "Yes Janet?" His assistant's, monotone voice filled the room.  
  
"You have a personal phone call, Mr. Lyman."  
  
"Who is it?" He asked impatiently.  
  
"Kate Moss."  
  
Panic coursed through Josh rapidly. "Put her through."  
  
Moments later, Kate Moss's soft voice came over the phone. "Josh?"  
  
"Mrs. Moss." His voice was weary. She could not be calling for any good reason.  
  
"How is Serena?" Kate inquired.  
  
Josh again sighed, this time, with relief. Donna hadn't passed away; if she had have, Mrs. Moss wouldn't be making small talk. "She's doing well. You know that I have full custody now?"  
  
"Yes. Congratulations." Her voice was sincere and warm.  
  
"Thank you."  
  
"Jonathan and I have been discussing our daughter."  
  
Uh oh. The last time that she said that to him, she wanted to unplug Donna from life support. "Yes?" He said cautiously.  
  
"DC is so far from Wisconsin, Josh. We've only been able to come to DC three times since the accident. We miss her Josh."  
  
"I know and I'm sorry." Josh spoke softly. He knew that his words did little to help Kate feel better but that was the best he could think of.  
  
"We're coming to DC next week Josh."  
  
"Good. How long will you be able stay?"  
  
"We'll only be in DC for a few days."  
  
"You're more than welcome to stay with us." Josh offered sincerely. "Neither of you are allergic to dogs are you?" He asked with mild concern.  
  
Kate laughed. "No Josh. We aren't allergic to puppies. We'd love to stay with you and Serena. That will give us more time with our granddaughter."  
  
"She'll like that."  
  
Kate's tone changed. She knew he wasn't going to like the rest of what she had to say. "We are coming for a specific reason."  
  
Josh frowned. "Not to visit your daughter?"  
  
Kate sighed. "We're moving Donna to a convalescent home just a few minutes drive away from our house."  
  
Josh's hand tightened on the phone in his hand. He had to have misunderstood her. She could not have just said that. "Wisconsin?" He whispered it but she heard him.  
  
"Yes." She answered softly. "We'll be able to visit her daily. Her brothers will also be able to visit her more regularly."  
  
"But everyone here."  
  
Kate broke in. "Everyone there is wonderful. Jonathon and I are so very grateful that our daughter has so many loyal, loving friends. But that is what they and you are. Friends. We are her parents." She spoke firmly.  
  
Ice filled Josh's voice. "Serena is here in DC and she is Donna's daughter."  
  
"Adoptive daughter." Kate put in softly.  
  
Josh's spine stiffened. "Don't you ever say that in Serena's hearing." He spoke through clenched teeth.  
  
"I won't." Kate promised. She wasn't trying to be mean or cruel. She was just trying to make him see reason. "Does Serena visit her mother everyday, Josh?"  
  
"No." Josh admitted reluctantly. He didn't volunteer that Serena hadn't seen her mother in over a month though.  
  
"Do you see Donna everyday?"  
  
"No." He saw her several times a week but he couldn't make it to the convalescent home everyday.  
  
"Is there anyone there who does?"  
  
"No." Josh acknowledged with a sigh.  
  
"Jonathon and I will be seeing her everyday once she is in Wisconsin." Her voice softened. "Don't you think she'd be happier that way? Don't you think she gets lonely on days when she doesn't have any visitors?"  
  
"Yes." Josh whispered after several silent moments. "Yes, but Serena. how do I tell that little girl that her mother is moving to Wisconsin?"  
  
"Why don't you wait until Jonathon and I get there in a few days and we'll help you talk to her?" Kate suggested softly. "You know that you and Serena are welcome to come to Wisconsin to see her whenever you can." She paused. "I know you probably wouldn't want to do this with Serena so young but once Serena gets older, she can spend her summers or part of her summers here if she'd like."  
  
"Thank you." Josh responded although he was pretty certain that he would not be allowing Serena to spend summers somewhere where he was not. Ever.  
  
They finalized their plans and Josh dropped the phone back into its cradle. It looked like he was going to have to say goodbye one more time. It wasn't permanent but it was still goodbye.  
  
*************  
  
A few days later Josh stepped out of Leo's office after Senior Staff and headed through the West Wing to his own office.  
  
The last few days had been difficult. After CJ had affirmed the rumors of Josh and Zoey's relationship, the press's attention had intensified.  
  
Reporters now practically lived in Josh's front yard. The security system keep them outside the gate but anytime someone drove up to the gate the reporters would press closer yelling questions.  
  
The attention had gotten so bad that Zoey had moved back to the Residence, at least temporarily, in order to escape the reporters that were trying to dog her every move.  
  
One reporter had even tried to sneak into Serena's school by posing as a parent in order to get a comment on the relationship from the child.  
  
Several programs and magazines had called asking for interviews. CJ was politely telling all of them that no interviews were being granted.  
  
Josh stepped into his office and smiled. Serena sat behind his desk, a pen clenched tightly in her hand and the tip of her tongue sticking out between her lips. The pen ran over the paper in a perfect imitation of writing.  
  
As Josh walked closer to the desk Serena looked up. "Hi." She said cheerfully.  
  
"What are you writing?" Josh asked curiously.  
  
"I heard Will tell Lauren earlier that he didn't like a speech that she had just written. He said that I could have done it better." She frowned. "That was mean." A small smile replaced the frown. "I decided to try though and I think he was wrong."  
  
"Who's Lauren?" Josh asked, a confused expression on his face.  
  
Serena sighed in exasperation. "She's one of the interns."  
  
Josh just shrugged. He couldn't keep them all straight.  
  
Crumpling the paper into a tiny ball as she had seen Toby do, Serena tossed it into the trashcan next to Josh's desk and stood. "Is it time to go?"  
  
Josh glanced at his watch. "Yep."  
  
Serena spent the car ride chattering.  
  
Josh finally pulled into a parking spot after circling several times. He grumbled under his breath about them needing more spaces as he climbed out of the car and walked around to let Serena out.  
  
Serena skipped next to Josh still talking about school and her friends there.  
  
Inside the airport, they found seats near the gate the Moss's would be coming through. Ever friendly, Serena struck up a conversation with the man sitting across from them, which made Josh frown. The child had no fear of strangers.  
  
The flight arrived and people started streaming through the gates.  
  
Kate and Jonathan Moss stepped through and glanced around the assembled crowd, smiling when they noticed Josh and Serena.  
  
Kate was in her early fifties and had long blond hair like her daughter's. Like her daughter's, strands of white were interspersed throughout. Few wrinkles lined her beautiful face. She smiled down at Serena and her brilliant blue-green eyes lit up.  
  
Jonathan Moss was perhaps five years older than his wife was, Josh thought. Donna had gotten her height from him. He had light brown hair, tinged around his temples with gray. His green eyes twinkled as he hugged his granddaughter and shook Josh's hand.  
  
After they retrieved the Moss's luggage, Serena grabbed onto her grandparent's hands and skipped between them as they walked to the parking lot.  
  
Walking behind the trio, Josh allowed his mind to wander, tuning out the cheerful conversation and teasing going on in front of him.  
  
Serena had been so excited when he'd told her that Kate and Jonathan were coming for a visit. She had spent most of the week planning things to do with them while they were in town. How was she going to react when she found out that they were going to take her mother out of the state?  
  
Serena was a very above average child, but she was still a child. With child like logic, would she think that they were doing this to hurt her? Would she feel betrayed? And if she did feel that way, how could he help her?  
  
Josh suppressed his sigh, wishing, not for the first time, that Kate hadn't called him.  
  
************  
  
That evening, after dinner, Kate and Jonathan sat on the sofa watching their granddaughter in amusement. Josh sat in an armchair near them but he was used to the scene before them.  
  
Serena was curled up in a child-sized rocking chair near the fireplace with Tuft on her lap. As she rocked back and forth, she sang a lullaby to the puppy.  
  
Kate took a sip of her coffee as she listened to the song. Serena was such a sweet little girl. She was so tender and caring. Kate hated that she was going to have to hurt the tenderhearted child. Still, she knew that she had no choice. She had to do what was right for her own daughter. Serena had Josh to look out for her. Kate realized that he cared about Donna and wanted what was best for her but Serena was his primary concern. She had to be.  
  
Jonathan grinned as Serena ever so gently, stood up, trying not to jostle the now sleeping puppy. Tiptoeing across the room, Serena gently set the puppy down in his bed.  
  
Her task complete, Serena walked across the room to sit near the others. Carefully, she took her cooling mug of hot chocolate off of the coffee table.  
  
"Serena?" Kate ventured softly.  
  
Taking a sip from the mug, she smiled at Kate. "Yes, Grandma Kate?"  
  
Kate glanced at Josh who just shrugged. If she wanted to do this now, she could. There would never be a good time for this.  
  
"You know that Grandpa Jonathon and I live a long way away?"  
  
Serena nodded with a smile. "You live in Wisconsin. The state that looks like a mitten." She said proudly.  
  
Kate returned her smile. "Yes we do. Since we live so far away, we have trouble coming here as often as we'd like to."  
  
Serena frowned but said nothing as she returned her hot chocolate to the table.  
  
"When we are in Wisconsin, we miss your mommy a lot."  
  
"But she has lived here for a long time." Serena pointed out, still frowning. "Did you miss her the whole time?"  
  
Kate was touched by Serena's concerned tone. "Yes, we did." She answered softly. "But it was a little bit better because we could talk to her on the phone and e-mail her."  
  
Serena's bright blue eyes were filled with sadness and compassion. "Now you can't do those things."  
  
"No, we can't." Jonathan agreed. "Grandma and I have been talking about what we can do."  
  
Serena's face suddenly lit up, her eyes shining as a thought occurred to her. "You can move here, to DC and see Mommy everyday."  
  
Josh swallowed at Serena's gleeful tone. She was so happy that she had come up with what she thought of as the perfect solution. Hearing that she was wrong was going to shatter her.  
  
"Sweetie, that is a very good idea but it wouldn't work." Kate said gently, moving a little closer to the child.  
  
"Why not?" She asked quietly as her exuberance faded.  
  
"I work in Wisconsin, Honey." Jonathan reminded her gently. "Our sons live in Wisconsin as do all of our friends. We've lived in the same house for over twenty years."  
  
"Oh." Serena spoke so softly that they could barely hear her.  
  
"We've thought of another solution." Kate hurried on before she lost her nerve.  
  
Serena smiled again.  
  
"We're going to take Mommy to live in Wisconsin with us." Kate said quickly.  
  
Serena's face fell. "Wisconsin?" She whispered.  
  
The look on Serena's face almost broke her heart. "Yes." She answered softly.  
  
Serena looked at Josh for confirmation, her blue eyes shining with unshed tears.  
  
Josh swallowed the lump in his throat. He could brow beat recalcitrant members of Congress in a matter of minutes with little effort. But dealing with a devastated Serena, that he couldn't handle. He hated it when his little girl cried. With great effort, Josh nodded.  
  
She turned back to Kate. "How long?"  
  
"I don't know." Kate answered truthfully. "Until she gets better."  
  
A tear slipped down her cheek, followed by another until they were streaming down her face.  
  
Kate met Josh's eyes helplessly.  
  
Ignoring the woman, Josh pulled the child onto his lap and kissed the top of her head soothingly.  
  
Turning, Serena buried her face in Josh's chest, her sobs shaking her body. It wasn't fair, she thought desperately. They couldn't take her mommy away from her. It just wasn't fair.  
  
Kate felt her own tears fall as she watched the scene before her. Serena was now sobbing as Josh held her close, his expression devastated as he tried to comfort her as best he could. She hadn't been in the room when he'd told her about Sam's death but she imagined that it was something like this.  
  
Jonathan squeezed his wife's hand, hating that they had to do this but knowing that they did.  
  
After several minutes, Serena's sobs subsided and she lifted her tear stained face from its hiding place. She met Kate's eyes plaintively. "I'll miss her." She whispered brokenly.  
  
"And she'll miss you." Kate responded, her own voice weak as she fought back her tears.  
  
"It isn't fair."  
  
"No, it isn't." Jonathan agreed. None of this was fair. They shouldn't have to make this decision. The car accident shouldn't have happened. A four- year-old shouldn't have to deal with yet another loss. But it had all happened, fair or not. All they could do was what they felt was best in a horrible situation.  
  
"In Wisconsin, Mommy will live very close to Grandpa and I." Kate went on. "We'll be able to visit her everyday. She won't be as lonely."  
  
Serena's eyes gleamed defiantly. "How do you know she is lonely?" She demanded. "Mommy can't tell you."  
  
"No, she can't. But I'm her Mommy, so I know." Seeing that that hadn't worked, she decided to try another tactic. "Sweetie, if you were asleep for a long time like Mommy is, would you want to live near Uncle Josh?"  
  
Serena's lower lip protruded. After a few minutes, she finally answered. "Yes."  
  
"Then don't you think Mommy deserves that chance?"  
  
Serena swallowed. "But I'll miss her so much."  
  
"You can come visit her in Wisconsin whenever you want to." Kate offered with a small smile.  
  
Serena leaned back against Josh's chest. "Okay." She finally said very quietly before turning to meet Josh's eyes. "I want to go to bed now, Uncle Josh."  
  
Without a word to their guests, Josh stood and exited the room, Serena still in his arms.  
  
After they had left, Kate met her husband's eyes. "That was worse than I expected. I knew she was going to be hurt but." She let her words trail off as she stared into her coffee cup.  
  
"I didn't expect the anger either." Jonathan said with a sigh. "But we should have." He rubbed his hand over his face. "We're taking her mother from her. I guess that that makes us bad guys in her mind."  
  
"She is just so young. Too young to really understand this but for awhile, I actually thought that I was getting somewhere with her."  
  
"So did I." Jonathan said before taking a long sip of his coffee. "Maybe we did." He mused. "We don't really know her that well. Maybe we got farther than we thought."  
  
"Maybe." Kate agreed doubtfully.  
  
Josh returned a few minutes later to retrieve Tuft. He met their eyes briefly but said nothing.  
  
*******  
  
Josh took a swallow of his coffee before setting the cup back on his desk with a thump. Coffee sloshed over the sides but he ignored it.  
  
He should have stopped them from telling her. He should have made them wait until she was better prepared. He should have, but how? How would he have made Serena any more prepared than she had been?  
  
"Josh?" Zoey asked tentatively as she stepped into his office. She took in his appearance worriedly. His hair was mussed, his eyes rimmed with fatigue and concern, his chin covered in stubble, and his tie askew. At least he was wearing a different suit than he had been the day before, she mused.  
  
Josh looked up, startled at her sudden appearance. "Janice didn't let me know that you were here."  
  
Zoey shrugged. "I told her not to. I didn't think I needed her to announce." Her eyes grew uncertain as she spoke.  
  
Josh belatedly realized how he had sounded and that he had inadvertently hurt her with his careless words. He stood and rounded the desk. "Zo, I didn't mean it like that. I'm glad to see you." He pulled her into his arms for a kiss.  
  
Zoey felt her hurt and uncertainty melt away at his touch. Finally though, she pulled away from the kiss but stayed in his arms. "What's wrong?" She asked concernedly.  
  
Josh sighed as he reluctantly pulled away from her and motioned for her to sit across from his desk. He went back to his chair so that he was facing her. Not for the first time, he wished that he had a couch in his office. "Serena and I got Mrs. and Mr. Moss from the airport yesterday."  
  
Zoey frowned in confusion. "Did they get settled in okay?"  
  
"Yeah."  
  
Sudden comprehension dawned in her yes. "They told her last night didn't they?"  
  
Josh nodded. "It devastated her and there was nothing that I could do. She looked at me with her bright eyes filled with tears after Kate told her. All she wanted was for me to discount what Kate had told her and I couldn't do it."  
  
Zoey saw the pain flare up in his eyes. "She doesn't blame you. She understands that there isn't anything that you can do."  
  
"No, she doesn't." He agreed. "She blames them. Last night, I took her upstairs and it was hours before she fell asleep. During that time, she kept telling me how unfair it is. Yet, she is so compassionate that she can see why they are doing it." He sighed. "She is confused, hurt, and angry."  
  
"How is she now?"  
  
Josh met Zoey's deep brown eyes, which were fill with pain and concern for Serena, and he gave he a small smile. She really did love Serena, he knew. "She spent most of the night sobbing, Zoey. She cried until she fell asleep. She was so upset that I let her stay with me all night."  
  
Zoey's eyes softened at his words. He had been so uncertain when he got custody of Serena. He had been so afraid that he wasn't going to do a good job of raising her. But he was doing a wonderful job. He was an amazing father to Serena and would be an amazing father to any other children that he might have.  
  
"She was so exhausted that I didn't send her to pre-school this morning." Josh continued.  
  
Zoey blinked. "But aren't the Moss's at your house?"  
  
"They are spending most of the morning with Donna and then they have some arrangements to make for her transfer to Wisconsin. Amy's going to bring Serena here this afternoon, as always."  
  
Zoey just nodded. She hesitated before speaking again. "Do you think that she is going to be okay? She's been through so much."  
  
"Yes, she has. She's been through more than someone four times her age should have been." He grinned. "But she is amazing. The things that she has been through would have ruined most children. Made them into spoiled brats or juvenile delinquents. Serena has taken it all so well."  
  
"She has." Zoey agreed. She was still worried about the child but she didn't press Josh. She knew that he was already worried enough.  
  
"When are they leaving?" Zoey asked after several silent minutes.  
  
Josh ran his hand through his hair. "I spoke to Jonathan before I left this morning. Last night, they decided that it was best for them to leave as soon as possible. They think probably the day after tomorrow."  
  
"The day after tomorrow?" Zoey said in surprise. "No one knows that she is leaving yet, do they?"  
  
Josh shook his head. After he had spoken to Kate on the phone, he had had to talk to someone so he had confided in Zoey. The others all knew that Kate and Jonathan were in town but he hadn't said a word about them taking Donna back to Wisconsin with them. Now, he was going to have to talk to everyone a lot sooner than he had planned to.  
  
Janice stepped into the room she cast them both a disapproving look before speaking. "You have Senior Staff in five minutes, Mr. Lyman." With another glance at Zoey, she left.  
  
Zoey saw Josh's expression and spoke softly. "Don't."  
  
Josh swung his gaze back to Zoey and the anger in his eyes disappeared. "Zo, she has no right to act like that. No one does. There isn't anything wrong with our relationship."  
  
She reached across the desk and covered Josh's hand with hers. "No, they don't. But Josh, we knew what reactions we were going to get. We knew that a lot of people were going to disapprove of our relationship."  
  
Josh's eyes were hard as he stared at his door. "They can think what they like. She can think what she likes but she can't show her disdain. She can't look at you like that. I won't have an assistant that treats my girlfriend like that."  
  
Zoey sighed. "I don't like it either but Josh, you already go through enough assistants. Janice is the only one that has lasted for any extended period of time."  
  
"Not anymore. I'm going to have them send a temp up after Senior Staff." He sighed at her expression. "Zo, its people who act like that that leak things to the press. We don't want things about our private relationship getting out." He stressed the word private.  
  
Zoey sighed again. This time her sigh was because he was right. "No we don't." She agreed. After a moment she stood. She gave Josh a smile. "I'll let you get to Senior Staff, before you're late."  
  
Josh walked around his desk again. He gave Zoey another kiss before they both left his office, going in opposite directions.  
  
***********  
  
"I don't want to go." Serena said, giving Josh a pleading look.  
  
Josh sighed. "Serena, you always go home with Amy after our visit in the afternoons."  
  
Serena bit her bottom lip. "But they're there."  
  
Josh walked around the desk to kneel in front of the child so that they were at eye level. "Serena, they are your grandparents. They love you."  
  
She immediately shook her head in adamant refusal. "They're taking my Mommy away."  
  
"They aren't doing it to hurt you."  
  
"But it hurts anyway." She said simply. "You and Amy say that you aren't suppose to hurt others and if you do so accidentally, you have to apologize and make it right."  
  
Josh met the nanny's eyes helplessly but the girl just shrugged. "Angel, this is a little different. Grandma Kate and Grandpa Jonathan love Mommy as much as you do but in a different way. They've loved her since before she was born. That's a long time. Now, she is sick and there isn't anything that they can do. That hurts them. They want her near them, so they can help her."  
  
Serena pondered that for a few minutes before smiling. "They can take her home with them."  
  
Josh blinked. Where had that sudden change of heart come from?  
  
"It will be a nice vacation for her." Serena continued. "Then, after a few weeks, they can bring her home."  
  
Josh stood up and lifted Serena out of the visitor's chair. Sitting down in the chair himself, he settled the child on his lap.  
  
Serena turned her head so that she could see his face.  
  
"Mommy can't come home that soon. It isn't possible."  
  
"Why not?" She demanded.  
  
"It is going to be very difficult for them to move Mommy because of her medical condition so she'll have to stay in Wisconsin for a long time."  
  
Serena was silent for several more minutes. "Than, can we move to Wisconsin?"  
  
Josh swallowed. How could he answer that without sounding selfish to Serena? He couldn't tell her that they couldn't move because of his job. She'd want him to get another job.  
  
"Sweetie, I can't move to Wisconsin. My Mommy and Daddy are in DC." Amy jumped in. "If you move to Wisconsin, I can't take care of you anymore."  
  
Serena's face fell as she looked back at Josh. "We can't move without Amy."  
  
Josh sent Amy a grateful smile which she returned.  
  
"When are they taking Mommy?"  
  
"The day after tomorrow." Josh answered wearily.  
  
Serena's eyes widened. "That soon?" She whispered.  
  
Josh just nodded.  
  
"You can't stop them?"  
  
"No Angel. There isn't anything that I can do."  
  
"Oh." Serena reached across Josh's desk to retrieve a picture. Holding the frame between her hands, she gazed at it intently.  
  
This picture had been taken at the barbecue that they had had right before Alana took Donna and Sam to court for the last time. Not long after that, they had all been in the terrible car accident on their way back from Alana's on court ordered visitation.  
  
In the picture, Donna and Serena were sitting together on the ledge of an old, stone barbecue in the back yard. (The food was being made on a newer barbecue.) Their legs dangled off of the side and their hands were behind them, propping them up. Donna's long blond hair billowed out around her in the gentle breeze surrounding them. Both she and Serena were laughing at something going on around them. They were both completely relaxed and happy in the photo.  
  
After several minutes, Serena carefully replaced the picture. "Can we go visit her?"  
  
"Of course." Josh assured her immediately.  
  
"I'm going to miss her allot." She confessed.  
  
"I know." Josh whispered as he kissed her forehead. "I'm so proud of you."  
  
Serena gave him a wobbly smile. "I still don't really want to see them right now though."  
  
"That's okay." Josh assured her. "How about this, Amy can take you to the park for awhile and then I'll meet you back at the house for dinner tonight?"  
  
Serena grinned as she jumped off of his lap. "Cool." She hugged him as he stood up. "Thank you, Uncle Josh."  
  
"Your welcome Angel. I love you."  
  
"Love you too." She skipped out the door with Amy and Josh went back behind his desk with a sigh.  
  
************  
  
With a deep, fortifying, breath, Josh made his way down the hallway with quick strides. His footsteps sounded in the quiet hall.  
  
He stopped beside the nurse's station as he always did. The young woman behind the desk smiled at him. He recognized her but had no idea what her name was. "How is she?"  
  
Her smile turned apologetic. "I'm sorry. There's no change."  
  
Josh exhaled quickly. He had known that she was going to say that but had hoped that just this once, that wouldn't be the answer. He'd hoped that there would have been just enough change to give them hope. Just enough so that maybe, just maybe, the Moss' might change their minds. Enough change that Serena wouldn't have to loose her mother even more than she already had.  
  
Josh nodded at the nurse before stepping over to the door to Donna's room. Stepping inside the room, he took another deep breath before approaching the bed. He pulled the chair closer to the bed and sat down.  
  
Reaching out, he brushed a strand of hair out of her face. "You've been popular today haven't you Donnatella? CJ told me that she and Toby came by on their way to work early this morning. Margaret, Carol, Bonnie, and Ginger all came on their lunch breaks. Abbey was here this morning. Zoey said that she stayed and talked to you for quite awhile. I know that you are wondering why we all came on the same day since we don't usually."  
  
Josh swallowed before continuing. "Your parents have been by several times so I know that you know they are here in DC. They are leaving tomorrow. They are taking you with them Donna. You're moving to a convalescent home just a few minutes from their house so that they can see you everyday."  
  
"Serena wasn't happy when she first found out but she is okay now. I've promised her that we are going to come visit you very frequently."  
  
"I'm sorry that she didn't come to see you. She just wasn't up to it. I'll try to get her to call you in Wisconsin in a few days. Your mother can hold her cell phone up to your ear so you can hear her."  
  
"I know I've told you about her new school. She absolutely loves it there. She adores her new teacher. She is so gentle and calm with the children." He grinned. "And most of the children have Democrats for parents. I know several of our senators and congressman whose children go there, in fact."  
  
"She still pampers that puppy as if it were a newborn. She loves Tuft so much. I've used several rolls of film already taking pictures of Serena and Tuft. You can see them when you are able. She rocks him to sleep, tries to feed him with a spoon, and dresses him. The puppy doesn't seem to mind any of it.  
  
"At first, I wondered if I'd made the right decision allowing her to get a Hairless Chinese Crested instead of a sturdier dog like a Golden Retriever or a Lab but now I have no doubts. A larger dog would get too large for Serena to play with the way that she is accustomed to. Tuft will always be small enough for her to rock him to sleep and carry him around."  
  
"She barely mentions Alana. She is very relieved that she doesn't have to visit her anymore though. Alana really frightened Serena."  
  
Josh ran his hand through his hair. He knew what he had to tell her but he didn't want to. But he had run out of news and small talk. "I don't know what Zoey talked to you about today, but she told me that she didn't tell you this. She and I have been dating for about two weeks now. It's soon but I think that I'm falling in love with her."  
  
"Serena adores Zoey and is happy about the relationship. She has always adored Zoey as you know and loves that Zoey is spending even more time with us now."  
  
"The President and First Lady aren't as happy about it. I spoke to the President before hand and he grudgingly gave me his blessing but he and Abbey are still very unsure about the relationship. I guess I can understand their concern. I'm sure I'd feel the same way if it was Serena but still. I don't plan to hurt her."  
  
"Then there is CJ. She is pissed because she had to spin this in the press. The press as you can imagine, loves this. They keep listing Zoey and my differences. They point out the age difference. They make sure everyone knows about my job. They discuss the differences in our religions and the fact that I'm raising Serena."  
  
"I think our faces have appeared on the cover of just about every magazine and tabloid in the country. A few even have pictures of the two of us with Serena."  
  
"Thank God Alana is completely out of our lives or she's probably try to get custody of Serena because of this. But after the disclosure of her alcohol problems, she knows that she wouldn't have a chance, especially not this soon."  
  
Josh again brushed his hand over her short hair. "I still love you so much Donnatella. I'm going to miss you once your gone. I'm going to miss these visits and telling you everything that is happening. You can't give me advice, but I still feel that confiding all of this in you helps me somehow. Telling you everything makes me feel so much better."  
  
He stood up and leaned over to kiss her forehead. "I love you and I always will. But the time has come for me to move on with my life. But, Donna, I will always love you."  
  
He stepped out into the hallway just as Leo walked around the corner.  
  
"I just came by to say goodbye to her." Leo explained.  
  
"Me, too." Josh said softly. "Me, too."  
  
************* 


	4. Chapter four

Disclaimer: The characters from the West Wing don't belong to me. 'The Secret Garden' also does not belong to me.  
  
Author: Catgurl83  
  
Title: Changes Abound 4\4  
  
Feedback: Is much appreciated.  
  
Rating: PG to be safe.  
  
Spoilers: Through season five.  
  
Pairings: Josh \ Zoey, CJ \ Toby, mentions of Sam \ Donna  
  
Author's notes: Changes Abound is the third in my Changes series. It follows Continued Changes and Unexpected Changes.  
  
Thanks to Classic She for beta reading this story.  
  
*************  
  
Josh very slowly mounted the stairs, taking each step slower than the one before it. As he reached the top of the staircase, his hand fell limply onto the rail.  
  
Zoey watched her boyfriend concernedly. He wasn't doing very well. She stepped up next to Josh and laid her hand on his shoulder. He nearly jumped at her touch; it was as if he had forgotten that she was there. "Josh?" she asked softly.  
  
Instantly calmed at hearing her voice, Josh turned his head slightly and gave her a forced smile. "Yeah, Zo?"  
  
She studied his face for a few moments. "Are you sure that you are ready for this? We don't have to do this today."  
  
Was he ready for this? Josh asked himself silently. Not completely. Would he ever be completely ready for this? Probably not. It needed to be done. He needed to do this. Serena needed him to do this. They wouldn't be able to completely move on until this was done. "Yes, we do have to do this today."  
  
Zoey gave him a skeptical look.  
  
Noticing her expression, Josh gave her another smile. He leaned forward and brushed his lips over hers lightly. Pulling back, he took her hand and started walking again. They reached the door and Josh froze. Forcing a deep breath, he reached out with his free hand and grasped the cold doorknob. He pushed the door open but stayed where he was.  
  
Zoey stood with him as he battled his urge to run as far from this room as he could. Curiously, she turned her head and gazed into the room. She had never been in here before.  
  
The drapes were closed, blocking out all sunlight, her eyes had to adjust in order to see inside the room.  
  
Like the rest of the house, this room had a wooden floor. Unlike the rest of the house, this floor hadn't been polished in months, years. Dust had built up on the floor, as well as on every other surface. Josh hadn't been able to deal with the idea of the cleaning lady coming in here, touching the things in here, their things.  
  
The bed was made. It looked as though it was patiently waiting for its occupants to come back. To turn down the covers, to climb in. That would never happen. Neither of them would ever step foot in this room, in this house, again. Sure, Donna was still alive but with every day, every week, that passed, the chances of her waking got slimmer and slimmer. She and Josh both began to accept the likelihood that Donna would never awaken, although neither of them would say that aloud to Serena.  
  
Finally, wordlessly, Josh took a step into the bedroom. Once he began moving, he forced himself to keep walking. Crossing the room, he opened the drapes, allowing some much needed sunlight to filter into the room. Dust from the drapes filled the air and Josh and Zoey both went into fits of sneezes.  
  
"Those need to be cleaned, if not replaced," Zoey said after her sneezing fit had past.  
  
"Yeah," Josh agreed as he turned to peruse the room. This room definitely needed a thorough cleaning. He shouldn't have refused to allow the cleaning lady to come in here all this time; but at the time, he hadn't been able to think rationally. All he knew was that being in here, seeing these things, was just too much for both himself, and Serena. So, he had closed the room up completely.  
  
Several things had worked together to make him realize that it was time to do this. Over time, his feelings had been shifting, changing. Living here, thinking of this house as his home, had gotten easier. At some point, he wasn't fully aware of when, he had begun to think of this place as his home, his and Serena's home.  
  
When he and Zoey began dating, four months ago, his feelings had changed even more. He finally began to let go of the romantic feelings that he had had for Donna. He would always love Donna but now, he realized he wasn't in love with her. Before, a part within him had insisted that Donna would eventually come home and that her bedroom, her things, had to be here waiting for her, ready for her, when she did. Now he was able to accept the fact that that would never happen. Donna's doctors' said that, at this point, it would take a miracle for her to wake up; even if she did, she would have years of rehabilitation ahead of her.  
  
Serena had been the final factor that had convinced him that it was time. Their current bedtime story was 'The Secret Garden'. In fact, they would probably finish the book that night. About half way through the book, Serena had asked him if them keeping the bedroom and study closed up was the like the man in the story keeping all of his wife's things locked up, including their son. Josh had been taken aback by the question and had had no idea how to answer her. The next day, he had sat down with Serena and asked her what she wanted to do, if she felt it was time to go through her parents' things. The little girl had tearfully agreed that it was time but hadn't wanted to help, hadn't even wanted to be here.  
  
When his friends had found out what he was going to do, they had offered to help him. He had turned all of them down, all but Zoey. This was something that he needed to do himself. The more people who were here, the more he would be tempted to escape, to hide in another room while they went through Sam and Donna's belongings.  
  
Serena was spending the day with CJ and Toby. Josh had no idea what they were planning on spending the day doing but he trusted CJ and Toby completely with Serena. They would be bringing her home sometime before bedtime.  
  
"Josh?" Zoey asked.  
  
Josh pulled himself from his thoughts. Glancing across the room, he saw Zoey, wearing a pair of faded jeans and a Georgetown University sweatshirt with her hair pulled back in a ponytail, standing next to the open door to the walk-in-closet.  
  
Zoey was glad to see that Josh seemed calmer now, more composed. "Do you want to start in the closet?"  
  
At her words, Josh eyes widened. The closet held so many of their personal things, it would probably bring up so many memories. "Uh."  
  
She gave him an encouraging smile. "We can work in the closet together?"  
  
Josh nodded, stepping forward to follow her into Sam and Donna's closet.  
  
An hour later, they were surrounded by cardboard boxes. Some were for charity; others were to store until Serena was ready to go through them, if that time ever came.  
  
Josh carefully lifted the last garment bag out of Sam's side of the closet. He was pretty sure that he knew what was inside but he peeked into the bag just to be sure. It was Sam's tuxedo. Sam had worn it at his wedding. Josh swallowed as he remembered that day. He had been so jealous of Sam as he stood by his side as his best man. As Sam and Donna had said their vows, he had imagined himself saying those vows with her. God, it had hurt so much to listen to the Priest declare them man and wife, to watch them kiss. Yet, as jealous and hurt as he had been, he had also been happy for them. They were his two best friends, they were obviously totally in love with each other.  
  
Looking back, Josh knew that even if Serena hadn't existed, or if Sam had never found out about the child, Sam and Donna would have eventually ended up together. He had never had a chance of a romantic relationship with Donna. He and Donna had always had a special relationship, a unique relationship. It was hard to define. They had always got each other in a way that even they hadn't understood. In a lot of ways, they had been like very close siblings. They had bickered and argued yet, when it mattered, they had been there for each other.  
  
He gently laid the garment bag on top of a closed box which held Sam's favorite clothing. There was no doubt in his mind that he had to save the tuxedo.  
  
Looking over to where Zoey was standing, he saw that she was still working on Donna's clothing. Every once in a while she would glance over and ask him about a particular item, whether or not they should keep it, what its significance was. He had actually found himself laughing a couple of times as he had told her stories, things that had happened on days when Donna had been wearing a particular outfit. It was surprising how many details he remembered.  
  
He turned his attention back to the task at hand and began sorting through Sam's shoes. The shoes were lined up, oh so neatly, dress shoes to the right, casual tennis shoes and slippers to the left. Each of the two sections of shoes were lined up from lightest to darkest which caused Josh to roll his eyes. He had to wonder, had Sam done this or had Donna? He could see either one of them doing it.  
  
Zoey carefully folded the outfit Donna had worn at a barbecue held here just a few months before the car accident. The barbecue was the last time they were all together before the accident that changed so much. Well, almost all of them, her parents hadn't been able to make it due to security concerns. They all had been so happy. They all had spent the whole day laughing and talking, their concerns far from their minds. Josh had a picture of Donna and Serena taken that day, kept on his desk at work. She laid the outfit in a box of clothing to keep.  
  
Turning back, she realized that it had been the last item hanging. Kneeling down, she closed the box, overlapping the flaps so less dust would get in. Taking a marker out of her pocket, she marked the box and then stood.  
  
Josh tossed the last pair of shoes into a box for charity. "What man has that many pairs of shoes?" he grumbled.  
  
"Sam apparently," Zoey answered as she joined him.  
  
"It just isn't natural," Josh told her as he stood up.  
  
Zoey chuckled, "I seem to remember you having quite a few pair yourself."  
  
"Not this many," Josh hastily corrected. "Besides, it isn't my fault. My mom sends me shoes." He made a face. "Shoes."  
  
She smiled sweetly. "At least she doesn't send you underwear. Honestly, that would concern me."  
  
Josh just shook his head at her.  
  
"I finished with Donna's side."  
  
Josh swallowed hard. "We haven't done their drawers yet."  
  
Zoey glanced at the built-in drawers that lined the back of the closet. "Would you like me to work on the drawers while you take care of Donna's shoes?"  
  
Josh cringed. If Sam had a lot of shoes, than Donna must have an enormous amount. Yet, he'd rather go through his former assistant's shoes than her underwear. He had seen enough of her underwear years before when Karen Cahill mailed him a pair of them. That thought in his head, he quietly walked over and knelt down next to the shoes.  
  
Zoey shook her head as she turned toward the first drawer. Josh had just turned bright red. Why? She could understand that it might be embarrassing to him to think about going through Sam and Donna's underwear, but that embarrassing? It had been like he was picturing or thinking about something specific. If she hadn't known both Josh and Sam so well, she would wonder if maybe Sam had shared details of Donna's lingerie with Josh.  
  
After Sam and Donna had returned from their honeymoon, Josh had repeatedly asked Sam for details, Zoey knew. It had become a joke between them. Zoey was sure that neither man had had any intention of actually carrying on that conversation.  
  
Grimacing, Zoey tossed a pair of Sam's boxers into a giveaway box. She couldn't imagine wearing used underclothing but she'd let whatever program they gave these things to decide what to do with the garments.  
  
She pulled another pair out of the drawer, then another, quickly putting each pair into the box as quickly as she could. She never imagined she'd ever touch Sam's underwear, nor had she wanted to. Josh's underwear, now that was a different story, she thought, smiling at her secret memory.  
  
As a teenager, during the first campaign, she had been on the road with them all. Traveling so much, they had had to wash their clothes at laundry mats fairly often. Her mother had felt that it was important for her to have a sense of responsibility and had thus made her wash her own clothes whenever there was time.  
  
She could clearly remember a particular day. Her father had had a speech that night but they had arrived in the town earlier in the day than they had planned. CJ, Sam, Josh, Toby, Margaret, and Donna had decided to take advantage of the opportunity and went to a laundry mat. Her mother had sent her along.  
  
A blush crept up Zoey's face as she remembered taking a load of her light colors out of a washing machine. Josh had just finished taking some of his own things out of the dryer closest to her so Zoey nabbed it, tossing her stuff in. Later that day, she had returned to her room and folded her clothing. Mixed in with her own panties and bras, she had found a pair of men's boxer briefs. She had turned bright red and her hands had gone clammy. She dropped them on the bed as if they had burnt her. She had quickly realized whom they must belong to as they had carefully checked all of the washers and dryers they planned to use before they began. She had known that she should take them to Josh but she hadn't been able to do so. Every time that she thought about it, her face would flame. So she had tucked them away and had hoped that no one ever found out. She still had them. As far as she knew, Josh had never realized they were missing.  
  
For months, every time she saw Josh, she would picture him in that pair of underwear. She'd wonder what he had on under his suit, if he always wore boxer briefs. A couple of times, she had caught her mother looking at her strangely while she was imagining those things and had wondered if her mother had figured out somehow. Maybe her thoughts were transparent, written on her face. Her mother had never said anything though and eventually Zoey had gotten over it, till now. She smiled, now knowing he always wore boxers.  
  
Closing Sam's underwear drawer with a relieved sigh, Zoey pulled open the next drawer. It was filled with socks. Nice, boring socks, she thought gratefully.  
  
How do women walk in these? Josh wondered as he turned a stiletto heel in his hand, examining it from several angles. Why did they even try? You would never catch him or any other guy that he knew wearing something like this. Yet, pretty much every woman that he knew wore them. CJ, Zoey, and Abbey all wore them frequently. He was clueless as to why they would wear shoes like this. Knowing CJ, she probably wore them just to intimidate men by being even taller than her natural height. He tossed the shoes into a box to give away.  
  
Zoey had emptied most of the drawers. She had kept a pair of Donna's pajamas and a pair of Sam's pajamas. She didn't know for sure but they looked vaguely familiar. Sam's were a pair of Mickey Mouse pajama pants with a matching top. Donna's set had the Hello Kitty characters all over it. Zoey frowned as she tried to remember. Everything else had been put into the boxes to be given away.  
  
She opened one of the last drawers. Reaching inside she pulled out a neatly folded pair of satin panties. She dropped them into a box and reached back into the drawer with a sigh.  
  
Dropping the last pair of Donna's heels into a box, Josh went to join Zoey. "How's it going?"  
  
Zoey pulled the last item out of the last drawer and slid it shut. Josh's eyes were glued to the item in her hand, she realized. She thought about teasing him but immediately pushed the thought away. Under the circumstances, that would be cruel. She dropped the teddy into a box, closing it quickly. "All done." She glanced at a shelf of boxes. "What do you think are in those?"  
  
Josh followed her eyes. The shelf held five plastic storage containers, each in a different color. His curiosity piqued he crossed the room. Reaching up, he pulled a green box down.  
  
Zoey followed Josh out of the closet. In the bedroom, he set the box on the floor. Sitting down next to it, he gestured for Zoey to join him. He took the lid off. Taped to the inside of the lid was a piece of paper.  
  
Zoey leaned forward, trying to read the paper. "It's an itemized list of the stuff in here."  
  
"And I can actually read it. Donna didn't write this," Josh said after he had scrutinized the writing.  
  
"This is important stuff from her childhood. The list was probably written by her mother," Zoey said as she pulled a small picture frame with several spots for wallet-sized pictures. "These are of Donna from first through ninth grade."  
  
Josh took the frame from Zoey and gazed down at it. Some adults looked entirely different from their childhood pictures. Donna did not. The little girl in the photos gazed up at him with the bright, inquisitive blue eyes that he remembered too well. After a few moments he set the picture frame aside.  
  
"This is her first diary."  
  
He watched as Zoey set the fuzzy coral pink book aside. "How old do you think she was when she had that?"  
  
"According to the list, nine."  
  
"Do you think that we should be doing this? As curious as I am, this is her stuff, from her childhood."  
  
Zoey gently laid the two items they had taken out back into the container. "What I think is that this is a treasure trove. At some point, Serena is going to love this. Through this box, she will be able to get to know her mother." She studied Josh's expression and realized he wasn't ready for this yet. "I also think that at some point, you need to look through this so you know what is here before Serena looks. Just in case there are any surprises. But that doesn't need to be now, honey."  
  
"I'd rather wait." He picked up the lid and carefully replaced it. "Do you think that I should take it when we go to Wisconsin over the summer? Have her mother explain the stuff in the box to me so that I can tell Serena about everything when she is older? Or do you think that that would hurt Kate too much?"  
  
Looking into his earnest eyes, Zoey smiled. His capacity for caring was one of the reasons that she had fallen in love with him. He hid his sensitivity well from most of the world. But it was there visible to those who knew him well. "I don't think so. I'm sure that it'll hurt but it will be a good pain. She'd probably enjoy reliving some of these memories. If you're worried, you could ask her ahead of time though."  
  
Josh nodded in agreement as he picked up the box and stood. "Maybe I will."  
  
Zoey also stood but when Josh approached the closet, she headed toward the door. "I'm going to go order the pizza now."  
  
*************  
  
The doorbell rang and Zoey stepped out of the family room, headed toward the door. Gina followed close behind her.  
  
She accepted the pizza and then went back into the family room where Josh had just arrived with paper plates and sodas. She cleared a spot on the coffee table for the pizza box and then sat down.  
  
Josh took a slice of pizza from the box and dropped it onto his plate. He sunk down onto the sofa next to Zoey. Taking a bite, he glanced at the table, which was covered in photos. The pictures had come from a pink storage container in Donna's closet. Apparently, Donna had stored the pictures in the box while waiting for time to sort them into albums.  
  
"I wonder how long she's had these like this?" Zoey asked before taking a bite.  
  
"There are hundreds of pictures here. I don't think that I have half this many pictures."  
  
Zoey's eyes widened. "I do. Or more accurately, my mom does. When we were little, Mom and Dad took hundreds of pictures of us, between them. I think most of them are in albums though." She laughed. "You should see the stacks of albums that they have. They have them sorted by daughter, by year, some times by season. There is one of the first Christmas season with all three of us girls. My dad loves that one. Every year, at Christmas he takes that one out and wishes that we were that small again."  
  
"My parents were never that big on pictures. I mean, sure they took them but not that many. Most of mine are school pictures or pictures taken once a year at a professional studio. There aren't that many random snapshots."  
  
In a lot of ways, their childhood's had been very different, Zoey realized. She had known that all along but it hadn't hit home until now. Even the small things, like how many pictures of them as a child there were, were different. Both families had loved their children but they had shown it in very different ways, had had different styles.  
  
Josh picked up a napkin and wiped his fingers before reaching for a picture. A smile lit his face when he looked down at the picture. Serena, wearing a pair of red pants and a tiny red blouse adorned with lace and small rosebuds with a red cloth headband holding the small amount of hair that she had out of her face, sat on Santa's lap. Josh recognized Serena as being two; this was taken during her first Christmas with Sam. She was facing sideways so that she could look up into Santa's face. What made the picture so cute was that she had reached up and grasped the man's beard and was obviously trying to pull it off of his face, her face shining with happiness, curiosity, and mischief.  
  
Josh pushed some of the pictures closer to the center of the table, making a small free spot on the corner of the table. He laid the Christmas picture there. Within minutes, a whole stack of photos graced the spot.  
  
"It would take hours to sort all of these," Zoey said as she gazed down at a picture of herself on the campaign bus. She was looking at something beyond the camera and didn't notice that a picture was being taken. Her eyes were wide and awe filled and a smile that she was trying to suppress played at her lips. "I didn't even know that she had taken this."  
  
"I knew that she had a camera with her on the campaign but I never really noticed her taking pictures," Josh mused.  
  
The pictures seemed to only cover the campaign and the years of the Administration. There weren't any pictures before when she had joined them in New Hampshire.  
  
Zoey held up a picture of her father, Leo, Josh, Toby, Sam, and CJ all sitting together on the bus. All six of them were laughing and cards were laid out around them. She couldn't tell what they had been talking about but even then, they had fit so well together. "We should get some of these copied. I think some of the others would enjoy them."  
  
"Yeah," Josh agreed as he held up a picture of the campaign bus. At the very side of the picture, Toby and CJ could be seen. She was obviously teasing him and he did not seem to mind. Josh could tell that he was close to smiling.  
  
The pictures caught small moments; moments that showed that they were human, that even when things were stressful, they could have fun.  
  
"Here's Serena's first day at home after the transplant." Zoey handed Josh the picture. On the back, Sam had written those words. Serena still looked very sick but Josh knew that she had been recovering by then. The little girl looked so happy to finally be out of the hospital.  
  
Josh laid the picture that Zoey had handed him in the now very big pile that he had started. It seemed like he wanted to keep out almost every picture that they looked at for one reason or another. Zoey smiled as she looked at another, a mystery solved. Sam, Donna and Serena in pajamas.  
  
Reaching back into the mess on the center of the table, he pulled another photo out. The photo had presumably been taken by Sam. It was snapped from the side so that both faces were shown. Donna was wearing one of the biggest smiles that he had seen her have; Serena was perched at her waist a look of delight on the toddler's face. Just from the picture, he wondered if they had been spinning around, dancing maybe. Intrigued, he flipped the picture over. 'The day that Serena's adoption went through', he read.  
  
"That's a good one," Zoey commented with a smile. "They both looked so happy. They became a family that day."  
  
Josh set the picture in the pile to keep out and turned toward Zoey.  
  
Zoey laid the small stack of pictures that she had been holding down. A serious one had replaced Josh's relaxed, amused expression.  
  
"I've been thinking for a while now."  
  
Zoey nodded wondering where he was going with this. She could make a joke out of that comment but this didn't seem like the time to do so.  
  
"I wanted to discuss this with you but it never seemed like the right time."  
  
"Okay."  
  
"What would you think of me adopting Serena? Would it be stepping on Sam and Donna's toes? Would it seem like I was trying to replace them in her life, in her heart, her memories?"  
  
Josh's eyes were filled with such uncertainty. He really wondered if there was something wrong with this, Zoey thought incredulously. She laid her hand over his. "Josh, you are already Serena's father. Not legally but in every other way. You love her as if she was your biological child, don't you?"  
  
"Of course I do," he said adamantly.  
  
"That is what makes her yours, not a piece of paper. Whether or not you adopt Serena, she is your daughter. She has been your daughter for almost two years. Neither Sam nor Donna would be angry with you for that. In fact, I'm sure that they'd both be thrilled. They asked you to raise her if something like this happened. They trusted you, Josh, to take care of their daughter."  
  
She paused to take a breath before continuing. "No one thinks that you are trying to replace them. And we never will. Serena was so young when they died, she can't really remember them but you have kept them alive in her memories. You tell her stories about them, show her pictures of them; you encourage her to ask questions about them, questions to you and to the others. You'll never replace them and you don't need to, you have your own portion of Serena's heart, of her memories."  
  
Zoey's eyes had been locked on his throughout her speech. As she had spoken, his eyes had started to mist as had her own. He turned his hand under hers and squeezed it. "I think that you should do it, Josh, she is your daughter. Just do the paperwork, make her your legal daughter." she finished in nearly a whisper as emotion choked off her voice.  
  
Josh reached up to wipe away the single tear that had fallen from her eye. "I love you."  
  
************* 


End file.
